Broken
by Sosoru
Summary: Grammar Edits up to Chpt 7 Only after eleven years, the era of the Meiji has fallen. Now, senseless murder is once again a normal part of life. Kaoru now takes what is left and tries to forget, but will she ever be able to escape her broken past? AU KK
1. Prologue

_Hello, all. I'm Sosoru. I'm mainly a DBZ author, but I just recently got into Rurouni Kenshin. I IMMEDIATELY fell in love with the storyline, the characters, the setting, EVERYTHING. Now, I have been reading everything I can on it and reading fics as well. Now, I don't know everything, but I'm going to take a stab at my first RK fic. This IS an AU. Let me know what you guys think, ok? _

~ _Sosoru_

Prologue

Lightning flashed across the sky only illuminating the room for just a split second, allowing Kenshin to look at Kaoru. Her dark blue eyes were wide and full of tears. Her lips were pursed, her cheeks flushed, while the rest of her exposed flesh was the color of heavy cream. Kenshin kissed her lips softly, then he slowly moved to her cheeks, catching the tears as they fell from her eyes. The thunder rumbled, though not as low as his groan as Kaoru stroked Kenshin's bare chest. He captured her hand into his and placed it over his heart. Kaoru's expression fell as she began to sob even harder.

"Hush, Kaoru-dono," were his words as he took her lips and kissed her with all the passion in his heart and fire in his soul. Her body ached for him just to be near, to be in his arms. She never wanted to let him go.

"Promise me, Rurouni," she sobbed through their kiss, "...promise you'll always stay."

Kenshin did not say a word, he only laid her body down on the futon and showered her with all the love he had felt for her over the past few months, but had been too reserved to show. How he loved her! Her fiery temper, her compassion, the way she would always try to help him with her bokken in the most impossible of situations. Oh, she was so sweet, such a joy. How could he ever leave her?

How could he?

Kaoru lifted her hand to her face and rubbed the bridge of her nose, trying to rid herself of the memory. She threw down some money onto the small table she was sitting at, rattling the glass half-full of sake resting upon it. She muffled a few curses as the eyes of dirty, drunken men fell upon her. Kaoru only fixed her cloak about her and placed the hood over her midnight-black hair. She walked to the door of the drinking house and was greeted by driving rain. Lightning dove from the low clouds to the ground not too far from where she stood. It was dangerous out, but she had to continue on. She drew her cloak closed, covering the hilt of her katana and continued out into the storm. It wasn't long before the rain soaked through and the cold wind started to cut through the fabric straight to her bones, but she didn't shiver. She had known discomfort, this was nothing to her. Her body was numb to pain, her heart was void of emotion...except when it stormed. And then memories of _him_ came flooding back into her head, remembering the last time she saw him. Kaoru looked up to the sky, the heavy rain falling into her eyes, beating hard against her face. She did not flinch, she only let the water cleanse her of the memory, so she could stalk the night again.


	2. So We Meet Again

Chapter One

The storms of the night before gave way to a glorious morning. The sun tried to break through the leaves of the trees as the songbirds chirped about with their harmonious melody. Pools of rain left on the leaves fell to the ground as a gentle wind passed by, some drops landing on Kaoru as she passed though. There would have been a time when she would have smiled at the sight before her. How she enjoyed the purity of nature back when she was a child. But, she was a child no more, she could no longer enjoy the song of the birds or the whispers of the wind. No, they were not for her. She just continued to travel though an area familiar to her, though not heavily traveled. In fact, she never came across anyone since she started her trips here to visit her loved ones. She much liked it that way. 

Kaoru found a large tree with an intimidating trunk. A few feet away on the ground was the remnants of a campfire. She smiled and removed her heavy, rain-soaked cloak and a small sack. She opened it and removed a crude lighter. She gathered some large limbs that fell during the night. Most were damp, but a light dosing of oil would make the wood burn, and burn they did. Kaoru rested her sword to the side and removed the rest of her clothing, a western style shirt and pants as well as her undergarments. She then built a little stand above the flames and placed her clothes on it carefully to make sure they would not fall in the fire. She then sat her nude body against the damp bark of the tree. She dug into her sack and pulled out a stale cracker and popped it into her mouth. She would have to hunt today, for there wasn't another town for several hours. 

Nibbling on her food, she rested her head back and took in a deep breath. It was a nice day for travelling, she thought to herself, feeling the warm summer sun beam on her weathered flesh. Skin that was once nearly blemish-free was now heavily scarred. Her hands were never soft due to her training with the bokken since her youth, but they had grown callused, yet somehow maintaining their feminine thinness. Her face, once bright and youthful was now dark and matured, though her beauty was still apparent. She was the same, yet different. Her dark mane flowed to her waist, she usually kept it bound in a bun. She let it lay free for the moment, slightly covering her bare body. Kaoru was just beginning to dose off when she heard something rustle in the distance. Her body perked up and she grabbed her shirt from the stand, slipping it over her frame. She picked up her katana and skillfully stalked towards the source of the sound. She ducked towards some bushes and watched intently. Moments later, a fragile figure on a horse slowly trotted through. The person was hooded, the only exposed feature their hands. Kaoru stood, making her presence known.

"State your name and your business here," she proclaimed, still holding her sword, ensuring that was visible as well. The figure stopped his mare and exposed his own sword, but then quickly put one hand in the air.

"I do not wish to intrude. I am only lost, trying to find my way to the village of Uuban," the familiar voice stated. Kaoru narrowed her eyes, trying to remember where she had heard that voice before. She could have sworn it was his voice, but…no, it couldn't be.

"The village you seek is towards the rising sun. Riding should take but two hours," she stated firmly, pointing him into the right direction. Hopefully, that would be enough for him to leave her be. But, it wasn't.

"Were you cooking something," the hooded man asked, pointing to the smoke rising from behind the large tree. Kaoru looked at him with a puzzled expression, then turned around. She sniffed the air. It was her clothes! She ran to the area and saw her cloak, pants and undergarments ablaze. She knew they were lost and only punched the tree in anger. Damn that man. If only he hadn't come this way, she would still have clothes to wear. She hit the tree again, this time making it shake and water fall from the leaves, sprinkling her with cool drops. Kaoru growled and gathered her remaining belongings. She put on her boots, grabbed her sack and fastened her holster to her waist, putting her katana on her left side. Putting out the fire was another story. It had grown large from its new fuel, namely her clothes. She kicked the damp earth onto it, but it did nothing. She then heard the man come from behind her, but when she turned around, she couldn't follow his movements. She turned back to the blaze, only to see it already doused by a large amount of water from the man's canteen. 

"Well, it seems the fire is out," he said to her, smiling even though she could not see. Kaoru felt her anger rise, her outlet was to be the stranger…the familiar stranger. She stalked him, her slender body moving in on him. He backed with her every step, not wanted to upset her more.

"You have done more than enough. Now all I have is this shirt and boots to wear. I am practically naked. I cannot travel like this," she spat, preparing to draw her sword. "Though, I'm sure I could use your mare and your clothes."

The hooded man reached for his own sword, but continued to back away. She was still fiery, he thought.

"I will be more than happy to give you my extra pants and cloak, though, I do not have any undergarments that would suit you. I will be happy to purchase them for you when we get to the next town, since you were so kind to direct me," he said, carefully trying to calm her mood. She stopped closing in and chuckled a bit.

"When 'we' go into town? I will not travel with you. Besides, I have business to tend to," she said, looking off towards the north. The hooded traveler walked back to his horse and pulled a bundle of fabric from his saddlebag.

"What business could you possibly have in these parts. Also, how will you get to the next town with nothing but a damp blouse and a sword," he asked, airing out his extra clothing. He walked back over to Kaoru and offered them to her. She eyed them for a moment, then snatched them away and began to dress herself in front of him. The man blushed a bit at her lack of modestly…but, this era was not one of such attributes. 

"That is no matter you need to concern yourself with, but I will accept your offer, stranger," she said, putting the cloak over her body. Though it belonged to a male, the clothes fit her nicely. The man was of a very small, feminine frame. She couldn't even tell if he was male or female until he spoke. Still, his voice was alto…and quite soothing if she said so herself.

"Very well. Are were to travel to the north to handle your…business," he asked, mounting his horse. Kaoru smirked and pushed him back on his mare, taking the reigns. 

"Yes," she replied as she kicked the horse and made it ride hard into the forest. Soon, they came to a clearing. It was a peaceful area with three large stones protruding from the lush green grass. They were graves, unmarked, but grand none-the-less. Kaoru did not exchange any words with the hooded man as she dismounted and walked over to the headstones. She spoke to each one, bowing and praying. The whole time, not a single tear shed from her eye, but face was full of emotion. She then rose and returned to the horse and continued to the town of Uuban. Both were silent for the duration of trip, for the traveler was afraid to ask her anything. He did not want to know who was buried there. He did not want to offend her by asking to divulge her past. Of course, it was tragic…as most were in this era. The Meiji era fell only eleven short years after it began, bringing about the era of Shinko. For the past six years, all that has been known is death and fighting. They way of the sword had been reduced to meaningless babble, with few people knowing the true art, or even caring. They just killed. 

Soon, they were at the town. It was only midday and the main road was fairly empty. It was probably due to the extreme heat, Kaoru rationalized, dismounted once more. Her thighs ached from the hard ride. It had been several months since she had ridden a horse. It was not her most favorite creature, but they got the job done. The hooded man dismounted as well and led his mare to a little inn called Himura Lodging. Kaoru's eyes widened, her heart sinking to her knees. 

"I take it you knew who I was for the moment you saw me," Kaoru said, her eyes lowered to the ground, trying to fight her anger.

"I take it you knew who I was as well, that you did," the man said, finally removing his hood. His red hair sparkled in the sunlight, though they did not match the brilliance of his violet eyes, eyes that were cool and demanding. The large cross-like scar on his left cheek confirmed his identity. 

Himura Kenshin. 

Kaoru's chest heaved heavily, her face turning red as berries. Her hand ached for her to reach for her katana and slash his throat, but she knew not to strike in anger. She looked at his sword and noticed it was not the same Sakabatou he had once carried. It was a katana like her own, made for Batto Jutsu.

"I see you have broken many promises," she spat, eyeing his left hip. Fighting a losing battle to control her anger, she simply turned around and began to walk towards the linen maker in town. Kenshin ran after her. She stopped before he had reached her and balled her fists.

"I have only recently made my way as an inn-keeper, but I have remained quite the Rurouni. Will you please stay with me, so we can talk," Kenshin muttered, only hoping she would stay, knowing there was no real reason for her to do so. She turned to him, her eyes a fiercer than they were before. There was a darkness about her, one he had never known. It was unsettling to him.

"You are dead to me," was all she said as she continued forward. Kenshin watched her walk away from him. A part of him wanted to chase her down, but he felt it wiser to let her go. Kenshin tied up his horse and made his way inside is inn, wondering what happened to the bright-face girl he left in Tokyo.


	3. Broken Promises Aren't Forgetten

_Two reviews? Does my summary suck or something? LOL…reviews would be greatly appreciated._

Chapter Two:

Broken Promises Aren't Forgotten

Once again, Kaoru found herself drowning in a bottle of sake. If the past day hadn't been dramatic enough, that man had to come back into her life. No…he was not back in her life. He was just passing through. Now that he had a life here, it was impossible for her to return to Uuban ever again. This would make the trip to her loved ones very difficult now, for the town after this was four hours away…on horse. On foot, it was closer to half a day. DAMN HIM! Damn Himura Kenshin! This was all his fault, his doing. He had once again made her life unbearable.

"Another bottle, Kamiya-san," an older man asked. Kaoru only waved him off and rested her chin on her hand. He returned behind the bar and frowned. The owner had never seen her like this. Something new was troubling her heart. She had already downed four whole bottles of sake, twice as much as she would normally drink. But, she did not appear intoxicated. No, she seemed more focused on her thoughts. Kaoru walked over to the old man and handed him a large amount of money. He looked down at her hand, eyes wide with surprise.

"Take it. You have been good to me the past few years. You will never see my face again. This is just a thanks," she said as she patted him on the back and continued out the door. The night that met her was very different from the one prior. It was quite humid and warm, so her cloak was far from needed. She had gone to the linen maker and purchased enough material to make two pair of pants, two undergarments and a large knapsack. Now, she was the one who was the Rurouni. She looked up to the sky to find Polaris and then began to walk south. She traveled all night, reaching the next town early the next morning. It was quite the trek, but she was more than used to it. She was walking towards the inn, when she felt eyes on her. She did not panic. Panic caused death. She just continued on as if she felt nothing, only her eyes darted about, surveying the area. She then reached the steps of the inn and turned about. For a moment, she was surprised and after that faded away, anger.

"Did you ride ahead, or were you following me?" she asked Kenshin, who was beside his horse. He smiled that smile of his, that smile that used to make her heart melt. Too bad she didn't have a heart anymore, at least not enough heart to feel anything for him.

"I followed you all night, Kaoru-san," he said formally. "I was worried about you traveling alone for so long with only liquor in your stomach."

Kaoru's eye twitched in anger. He had been watching her _all night long_? How could she not have noticed up until now? Of course, he was quicker than lightning. The reason she sensed him then was because he _wanted_ her to know he was there. 

"Why are you so concerned about me now, Himura-san? If you were so worried, why didn't you come back after the Shinko era began? Why did you leave in the first place? I do not care to know the answers you may have. Just making the point that your concern is about six years too late, Himura-san. Now, if you continue to follow me, I will have to kill you," she said clearly and distinctly. Her voice did not waiver, her eyes where narrow and determined. She meant every word she spoke, Kenshin could feel it. How she had changed from the seventeen-year-old girl he had met in Tokyo. Now, she was about twenty-four and hard as nails, not that she was ever soft. Well, she did at least have emotions then, a fire about her. She burned of passion, innocent passion. Now, that was replaced by maturity, the kind of maturity you get from war, killing and almost being killed. The kind that makes your heart cold and your body numb. Kenshin knew all too well what that was all about. 

"I do not wish to fight you, Kaoru," he said, moving his hand towards his sword. "But, I will not stop following you… so you will have to kill me."

The amusement on Kaoru's face was quite obvious. She chuckled heartily, then burst into hysterical laughter. Kenshin, confused, dropped his hand down to his side. Only when he felt himself hurling to the ground did he realize his mistake. She had attacked him when his guard was down. Her movements were quick and completely unexpected. He barely had time to draw his sword and cross Kaoru's strike. Her eyes were dark and cold, it was not her…not at all. Kenshin was able to gain his footing and pushed her off of him. She stepped back, only to strike again, this time nearly splitting his throat. A trickle of blood ran down his neck. She was not holding back…and neither was he. She had become more than a kendo teacher, she had become a master swordsman. She no longer wielded a wooden sword, saying that it should be used to save and protect. She wore a katana, a blade meant for killing. What had happened to his Kaoru? Was he really the cause of this? 

"You are keeping your guard DOWN!" Kaoru yelled, disappearing behind Kenshin and moving to slash him in two from behind, but Kenshin moved just in time to catch her attack once again. Her speed was almost the same as his, for he was only barely able to dodge her attacks. She then flew back and put her sword back in its hilt, her fingers still hovering over it. Kenshin's eyes grew wide. She was using _his_ style of fighting. She placed the sword back in its hilt because the speed of the withdrawal would be much quicker and deadlier than any free-slash. He remembered she witnessed him using the technique. Had she simply remembered it, or did she learn it. Who did she learn it from?

"Do you really want to do this," he questioned, still holding hid sword in his hand. He could not be confident. He could not read her, he was not sure of her true ability. All he knew is that she was extremely skilled, he dared say almost as much as he. She eyed him, her gaze challenging him. She did not speak, her body only moved closer, as if in slow motion as she withdrew the sword. Kenshin could see the speed at which she was going, and saw a flaw in her technique. Her angling was off, causing friction and slowing the blade down. Only that minor miscalculation allowed him to block the attack, but that was not all, for he felt as if is left side was caving in. Her knee was firmly planted there, aimed at his ribs. They seemed to float in midair, until she took her left fist and drove it into his face. Kenshin fell to the ground, holding his side. He was fighting to control himself, control the Battousai within him. She had pushed him to the very edge, she had surprised him. She would kill him if he did not let him out. But if he released him, he would kill her.

"Go ahead, let him out. This is not the depth of my skill. You must let him out if you want to live, Himura. I will kill you. I will be glad to kill you," she said, tossing his sword back to him. He looked at it as he picked himself up off the ground. He didn't even notice he had dropped it. Did he really have a choice? Was he to kill her?

"No. I may not have not kept all of my promises, but I will never become _him_ again. I had once, _for_ you…but I will not do it against you, I cannot," he said through his pain, standing up with the help of his sword. Kaoru's expression did not change. Her breathing was controlled, her hands steady. She could kill him at any second. She could…

"Do not follow me, Himura-san. You act as if the past never happened. You act as if I am just to speak to you as no time has elapsed and we were the same people we were six years ago. I will never forget that morning when I woke and you were gone. You were dead to me then, and you are dead to me now. Leave me be, Kenshin," were her words and she sheathed her sword and turned her back to him. The small crowd that gathered to watch the dueling pair parted for her as she left the scene. Kenshin watched her walk away into the inn. There was so much mystery surrounding her, he wouldn't know where to begin or who to ask, though he could draw several conclusions.


	4. Like A Mirror Revealing

Chapter 3:

Like A Mirror Revealing

Kaoru bowed before each of the three headstones and said a quiet prayer. This time, tears were in her eyes and stained her tanned cheeks, leaving salty trails to the lush carpet of grass at her feet. The gravesite was simply breathtaking. It was a break from the mundane, drab green found in the forest. It seemed a little creek used to run through the area, explaining the grass and abundance of flowers. It was the only place she saw fit to bury her loved ones. She couldn't bury them in the dojo cemetery, for it had been defaced and destroyed. Kyoto was also out of the question. Kaoru stumbled across this place quite by accident, searching for medicinal herbs Megumi had sent her to find when she was too injured to search herself. Only a few days later, Kaoru buried her here. She had never liked how Megumi always hung on Kenshin's arm. She had never liked how she seemed so sophisticated, so feminine, so much like the woman a man would really want. She was mild-tempered, was great at cooking and wonderful with children. Surely Megumi was more Kenshin's type, Kaoru always thought. More like his first love. But, he loved her, or so he said. But that didn't matter…

"I am sorry," she whispered to the towering stone, kissing its cool surface. She placed her hand at the top and used it as a brace to stand. Her right arm was bandaged tightly. Kenshin had cut her during their fight, she did not realize it until she went to her room in the inn. Her shirt was ripped, the cut so clean she didn't even feel pain. The sensation was actually warm and tingly as the blood began to gush out. She used some of the extra linen to bind her wound. She also dressed it with an herbal mixture Megumi had taught her. She had contributed so much to her…they all had.

Kaoru ears perked as she heard an unfamiliar sound coming high from the trees. It was too big to be a monkey, but the branches only rustled a small bit. The limb creaked from the weight it was holding. Whoever was following was not one for stealth. She stood tall, holding her hand over her katana, waiting for the invader to show themselves. And, without delay, a young man dropped from the trees and landed a few feet away from her. He grinned devilishly, his yellow teeth full of grime, his eyes wide. She then heard more men…one, two…five others, surrounding her. Obviously, they were a band of robbers, and they would not stand down without a fight. The men circled her, all quite scrawny and ordinary. To her, they were faceless. Victims of her blade didn't need faces. She unsheathed her sword and all the men jumped back, but only for a moment. They began to chuckle and poke at each other's side.

"Oh, this one thinks she can take us on. We all should probably teach her how to _take us_ when we're done robbing her," one man said, his eyes scanning her body. Before he could blink his eye, he saw his hands fall to the ground. He then dropped to his knees, in shock. But, that didn't last long, for his head soon followed his hands. The other five men were silent, their racing hearts the only sound coming from their bodies. Sweat formed at their brow as they witnessed the deadly beauty execute their leader. The band trembled in fear before her and they ran away in the same direction. Kaoru smirked and gave chase to her prey. They were only able to run a short distance before feeling a hot slash across their backs, then feeling absolutely nothing. Their screams cause birds to screech and fly away, the normally peaceful woods now a bloodbath. After Kaoru completed her task, she bent down before the bodies and searched their pockets. There were carrying a decent amount of money and she pocketed it all. Dead men don't need for anything. She then returned to the gravesite and removed the leader's body from the ground she considered sacred. She had not pillaged him, only moved him to where the remains of his men were. Her clothes were now bloodied, but her pockets full. Would she always face a distraction when she came for a visit?

"You are merciless," a voice called out from the distance. Kaori turned her head to see a figure with bright, red hair approach. She narrowed her eyes and threw her hands up in the air. Would he never give up? He was like a shadow.

"You must care to share the fate of these thieves," she yelled running towards him, preparing to strike. Then she remembered her rule, never attack in anger, and stopped only several feet in front of him. He looked almost exactly the same as the day before he left. A part of her wanted to smile, wanted to be thrilled to see him. The other half wanted to rip him apart and toss his body to the crows. Why was she torn? She hated him.

"Who is buried here, I must know," Kenshin asked, lowering his head. He already knew. It was Megumi, Sanosuke and Yahiko. They were dead and Kaoru blamed him for it, he could tell. Her eyes seemed to glow at his question, a blue fire wanting to burn through his soul. 

"It is none of your concern," she hissed, lunging after him, not caring anymore. Tears streamed down her face and she punched him continuously in a blind rage. How dare he ask? How dare he! Where was he when they were dying? Did he care then? Why does he care now? He has no right to care! Kaoru beat on him until her arms burned and she felt faint. She grabbed her injured arm and fell to the ground on the opposite side, sobbing. Kenshin did not strike her back, he took all of her blows. He sat up, rubbing his body. He looked down at her broken form, memories of pain and sorrow flooded her tortured mind. Kenshin frowned, fighting back tears of his own. Had he really done this to her?

"Tell me…please," he pleaded, picking her up off the ground, shaking her. Kaoru stopped crying the second Kenshin touched her. She then pushed him off and stood with her own power. Suddenly, the woman who had just slain six men seemed helpless and lost. Her eyes wandered about just as she wandered through her emotions. Why was this happening? Why did he have to come back?

"You are DEAD to me," she screamed withdrawing her bloodstained katana, lunging after Kenshin. His expression became deadly serious as he skillfully sidestepped and stuck Kaoru in the back as she stumbled past. She fell to her knee and coughed in pain, but she did not stay down long. She pivoted on her knee and swiped her leg under Kenshin's feet. He fell, but quickly righted himself, one knee on the ground, his hand on his hilt. He was more focused than their previous encounter the week before. He had asked around about Kaoru, asked what had she been doing in the towns, when she started frequenting them. Her profession truly startled him. 

A mercenary. 

No life was worth more than the price she demanded for her services. It didn't matter why they were being killed. She didn't care if the were guilty or innocent. She didn't care of they were of old age, or the very young. She did her job and that was that. She was only loyal to the shopkeepers and no one else. She revealed her heart to no one and her past to even fewer. He had wondered who was the person that had taken the "Hitokiri" portion of his name. He had actually heard fables about her power, her strength, her appetite for blood. He never would have imagined the woman capable of such fury was his Kaoru.

"I see you have brought your game face," Kaoru mocked, standing tall, going into proper stance. Kenshin stood as well, but did not get into a fighting stance. Kaoru cocked her brow and stood down. She ran her fingers through her raven hair, keeping her eyes on Kenshin. He looked as cold as death. Was the great Battousai disturbed by her actions? She rolled her eyes and assumed an annoyed look. She was tiring of their meetings.

"Is there a reason you are here, Himura-san? If not, I will return to my business," she said plainly, walking past him. But, a hand at her wrist stopped her. She looked at him, his cross-shaped scar staring back her. He then turned to meet her, his eyes softer this go about.

"Kaoru-dono, who is buried here? Is it who I think," he asked, using the name her used to call her. For a moment, she swore her heart sank. But, that was impossible…impossible.

"If it will cause you to leave me alone," she said, snatching her hand back, "Megumi, Sanosuke and…someone else."

Kenshin's eyes grew wide as he felt tears well within them. Megumi and Sanosuke…dead? How could it have happened?

"What about Yahiko," Kenshin nearly demanded, remembering the headstrong youth. He was so young, so stubborn. What could have become of him?

"Yahiko is alive and well, though I don't know where he is now," Kaoru stated, just waiting for him to question who was in the third grave. Kenshin just could not figure it. Who could she care about so much to bury with Sano and Megumi and he not know? His mind searched and searched, but found no answer. Then it hit him. He grew pale as he had looked at her now fuller figure. Her entire frame had matured, her hips full, her breasts ample, her waist still tiny. He then remembered their night of passion, when he gave himself to her, loved her like he had never loved before. Finally he looked into her eyes, them asking what his mouth could not fathom to form. 

_ANDDDDDD then there's a cliffhanger. I had written one long chapter, but what's the fun in that? I made it two, HAHA! Better get reviewing!_


	5. What A Woman Is Feeling

Chapter 4: 

What A Woman Is Feeling

Kaoru's eyes narrowed. Had Kenshin never considered that his little romp would result in something a little more? Surely he knew what that could lead to, and yet he still left. Kaoru walked over to the smallest of the three headstones, the one in the middle and placed her hand on it, remembering.

"Kenji was his name. He died when he was only a couple months old. Your child came into this world and passed without ever knowing he had a father," she grumbled low, forcing herself not to fall into the memories. Her hatred for him was brewing over. 

Kenshin stepped back, completely in shock. _His_ child? His _son_? He had left all of that behind him? He had let Sano, Megumi and his son die? He was finally beginning to see the picture. He had truly caused Kaoru's state, it was all his doing. Kaoru put her hand to her bridge of her nose as she always did when she was frustrated and exhaled deeply.

"So, now you know. Still concerned, Himura-san? Where were you when I _NEEDED _you, when our _CHILD_ needed you? You took my virginity and _LEFT_. I was considered a dishonored woman, a _WHORE_! Where was your concern for me then?" Kaoru yelled, letting out all her anger. He would feel her pain. She would ensure it. Kenshin only continued to shake his head. He could not believe this, he refused to. But, why would she lie? No, he just didn't want to believe he had cause so much pain to the woman he had loved so dearly. Where was he? Where did he go when she needed him? He felt an emotion beyond shame. 

"That night I left you, I was scared. I was scared by what I was feeling and what I allowed myself to do. I fell in love with you. I was not supposed to get attached to anyone, but you and the others turned into my family before I knew it. I thought if I stayed, what happened to Tomoe would happen to you. You did not need me, I didn't want to bring you down," he tried to explain, his tongue stumbling over his words and he tried to make sense of it all. 

"So, you revealed your true feelings, had sex with me, then left me to deal with aftermath? That's what you call protection? Were you smoking opium, Himura-san? That is just beyond lame," Kaoru's voice creaked in a high, strained pitch. Was he being serious? He couldn't be…he couldn't.

"If I had known Raijuuta Isurugi was going to actually succeed in his plan, I never would have left," he said, trying to defend himself.

"Why didn't you come back when he did?" Kaoru shot back. Her face was the color of a plum, her eyes red and stinging from the tears. She had held this in these emotions for six long years. Her body ached from the emotional pain being dealt to her. Kaoru cried out and fell to her knees. She beat on the ground with her fists, trying to release her anger.

"Why did you leave?!" she screamed continuously, almost chanting, over and over and over. Kenshin felt his heart sink into his stomach as he witnessed her emotional outcry. He wanted to pick her up and tell her everything would be ok and that he would always be there for her from then on. But that would not comfort her. She was still haunted by his actions and the question only he could answer. Why did he leave? Why did he do this to her?

"I knew you were strong, Kaoru-dono…I knew you would survive, but I didn't think it would turn out like this," he admitted, his voice trembling. 

"BAKA!" she yelled at him, lifting her head, tossing her hair about. For a moment, a brief second, she was Kaoru from Tokyo. She was still in there, somewhere, Kenshin thought and he rushed over to her and put his arms around her. It was then Kaoru realized she had never gotten over Kenshin leaving her. She only pushed it back far in her mind and heart. She became a killer to forget her past, to forget who she was. But, she could never forget. Her world was fine and simple. She did her job, she got paid and her day was over. Now, things were beyond complicated. If she had never seen him again, she could have gone on pretending she was fine and she didn't care about him. 

NO!

She didn't care. She didn't. She hated him. She wanted to kill him. She needed to kill him. He deserved to die. He didn't deserve to be near her. He didn't deserve to have his arms around her. He didn't deserve to be crying with her. 

His hands were on her? He was crying with her?

Kaoru felt his arm body surround hers. It had been six years since she's been in the arms of another man like this. That was the first, last and only time a man had loved her, needed her. Kaoru choked on her tears as the memories flooded back She didn't want to feel them, she didn't want to remember.

"No," she mumbled as she pushed Kenshin off of her with her arms and legs. She would not let him do this to her again, never again. She pushed with everything she had. In doing so, she strained her injured right arm, tearing the muscle. She cried out and nearly doubled over in pain. Kenshin's eyes quickly scanned her over to find the source of her injury. He felt her right arm and noticed it was bounded. With her straining, the wound began to bleed again. He opened her shirt without asking her permission and unwound the linen. It was a slash. He knew it was he that injured her. How much more pain would he cause her? 

"I must get you to a doctor, this is bad," Kenshin said seriously, redressing her wound. Kaoru shook her head and moved her arm away from him. She would not allow him to care for her. Not now, not ever.

"I can get there on my own," she growled, closing her shirt back up. Kenshin then realized her breasts were bare. He blushed, but at the same time, helped her fasten it back up. She fought him, but did not succeed with only one arm working. He then stood up and offered his hand to her. She looked up at it, then rose to her knees. She struggled to get up by her own power, and she did. Her arm was throbbing, the pain nearly paralyzing her. Kenshin knew how painful a torn muscle was. Add that on with her aggravated cut, she would bleed to death before long.

"Now is not the time to be stubborn," Kenshin said, pulling her to him. She was about to protest, but her strength was fleeing from her. She fell into his arms, her eyelids growing heavy, but body going numb. Kaoru tried to right herself, but her exertion caused her to breathe heavily. She felt as if she was not getting enough blood though her veins, and she wasn't. It was all rushing out of her arm. She looked down at her wound and finally fainted.


	6. Like Something From a Distant Past

Chapter Five:

Like Something From A Distant Past

All of Tokyo seemed to be ablaze that night. The smell of smoke and burning wood filled the air, making it difficult to breathe. Kaoru fanned Megumi, sweat dripping from her brow. She had been injured at the clinic. She was tending to people badly burned by the fires when her own clinic was firebombed. A support beam fell on top of her, nearly crushing her left side. Sanosuke worked feverishly to remove the beam. Kaoru had never seen him so livid. A few days had passed and her condition had not improved by much. All of her broken bones had been set, but she suffered so much internal damage that even Kaoru knew her time was short. All she could do was make her as comfortable as possible as they waited for the Angel of Death to come for her. She had traveled far to find the soothing herbs for her, and she had stumbled unto the most magical grove. The land was damp and soft, but was covered with the greenest, thickest grass she had ever seen in her life. The brightest, most beautiful flowers seemed to grow in that one spot. She almost was ashamed that she didn't want to leave. Why would she? It was heaven.

"Little Raccoon," Megumi beckoned, reaching her arm out to Kaoru. She quickly fell to her side, her infant son suckling on her breast. Megumi looked at Kenji and smiled. She caressed his rosy cheeks, a tear forming at her eye. It was almost her time…

"Sanosuke," Kaoru yelled frantically until the man was in the room with them. He looked at Kaoru, asking her mentally what he feared. She nodded and Sano choked on his tears. He slowly strolled over to Megumi and knelt down at her side. She slowly moved her eyes to meet his. Both were crying. Megumi broke a soft smile and placed her hand on his hand. She was so pale, he thought to himself.

"You can't leave me, Foxy Lady," Sanosuke said through his tears, trying to stay strong. Kaoru started rubbing his back, trying to sooth him, though she knew it would be impossible.

"Turning soft on me, are you, Sano? Don't ever do that. That's what I love about you," she whispered to him. His eyes grew wide and his head fell to her chest, sobbing.

"Do not leave me, Megumi! I am sorry I did not tell you how I loved you sooner! Just don't leave me now," he pleaded to her, as if it would make a difference. Megumi made a sound similar to a chuckle and rubbed his spiky hair. She then looked over at Kaoru and Kenji, her eyes worried.

"Take care of Kaoru-dono and Chibi-Ken. She has lost her love, you will share that," she whispered, her voice growing fainter by the moment. Kaoru began to cry also, not wanting to see her go.

"Sano's a lazy baka, he can't care for me and Kenji, you have to do it," Kaoru said. She didn't know if she was joking or not. She just wanted to make the mood lighter, not as dark as it was becoming, not as dark as it would be when she was gone. Megumi used the last of her strength to smile at Karou. Sano cried out and placed his lips onto Megumi's. They twitched and opened slightly, but then she was unresponsive. Her eyes closed and her face grew peaceful.

Megumi was gone. 

Sano fell over and sobbed uncontrollably. Everyone knew that they loved each other, but much like with Kenshin and herself, they would never admit it or show it. Now, it was too late. Kaoru just continued to rub his back has she tried to control her own tears. Kenji was oblivious to the whole ordeal. He had fallen asleep. Kaoru stood up and placed him on a small futon and walked back over to Sano. He was slowly regaining his composure when looked up at Kaoru. Both of them were now alone. They only had each other and Kenji. Yahiko had left when the fires started and they had no idea where he was. Kenshin had left after he knocked up Kaoru. How much Sano wanted to break him in two for that…

"Let us prepare her for burial," Kaoru said, fixing her kimono. Sano looked at her, puzzled.

"Where are we going to bury her. The cemetery here is a mess. You aren't just going to throw her in the ground, are you?" Sanosuke questioned, but it as more an accusation. Kaoru quickly belted him on top of the head and drug him out of the room. She shut the screen so that Kenji would not awaken from their noise.

"We will travel to the area where she got most of her herbs from. It's very peaceful, she will rest for all eternity there," she said calmly. Sano took in a deep breath and nodded. He placed his hand on her shoulders and rubbed it softly.

"Kaoru," he whispered softly, his face moving closer to her own. She closed her eyes and all she could feel was the heat of his body…the heat of his body was intoxicating. She opened her eyes again, but this time, she was not greeted with Sano's face. It was…Kenshin's?

Kaoru blinked hard and tried to bring her right hand to her face to rub her eyes, but she couldn't. It was injured. Then, it came back to her. She was only dreaming. Why was Kenshin at her side? Why was she in this room? Last she remember, they were fighting, she wanted to kill him. Then her arm…she re-aggravated it. She must have passed out. 

"How long have I been out of it?" Kaoru asked, her voice rough. She tried to sit up, but Kenshin put a firm hand on her, keeping her down.

"Quite a few hours, almost half a day, I'd say," he replied, "But you are not well enough to get up. You strained your arm pretty bad. You can't feel it because the doctor gave you a powerful dose of medicine, but you will feel it soon."

Kaoru rolled her eyes and smacked her lips. So, she would be stuck here, she figured, with Kenshin. Damn him! Why after all these years did he have to come back? Now everything was just a mess. How would she work now? It's a good thing she robbed those dead robbers, or she'd have no way to survive after she got away from Kenshin. 

"Are we in your inn?" Kaoru asked, looking at him. Kenshin nodded as he stood to open the curtains of the window. His inn looked traditional Japanese style on the outside, but was almost completely Western on the inside. The bed was high and the curtains were imperial red with little purple flowers on them. She more she looked, she saw it was a mix of the old and the new. It was quite a lovely place, actually.

"I hope you like it here. You should be able to get up on your own in a few days, but you will have to take it easy. I know you do not want my help and that you hate me, but please let me do this for you," pleaded Kenshin. His eyes were low and humble. He did not want to offend her any further. Kaoru let out and exasperated sigh. It's not as if she had much choice in the matter. She nodded, then rolled over to her side so she wouldn't face Kenshin. 

"What were you dreaming about?" Kenshin asked her, sitting at the edge of the bed, rubbing her injured arm. He was really pressing his luck. Kaoru growled and tried to shake him off, but she couldn't. Her arm tensed up immediately and began to ache. The medicine was starting to wear off.

"I was dreaming about Megumi's death," she said flatly. 

"How did she die?" he asked, his voice soft. Kaoru then rolled back onto her back and looked up and Kenshin. Why was he asking all these question? Could he just leave her the hell alone?

"Her clinic was fire-bombed and a beam fell on her. She died about a week after that," she replied, her voice still sharp. 

"How did Sanosuke take it?" he questioned again, but Kaoru had enough.

"Damn it, Kenshin! What does it matter now? They are dead, ok?" she yelled, her eyes filling with hatred and anger again. Kenshin frowned, but continued to rub her arm.

"And stop fucking touching me!" she screamed, rolling back over to her side. Kenshin did as she asked and got off the bed. He turned around to ask her another question, but he opted against doing so and exited her room. As soon as Kaoru heard the door shut, she sat up in her bed and began to examine her arm. Her wound felt very tight, for it had been sewn up. She could tell. It was make heal better, since all she would do is open it back up anyway. Her arm ached more and more by the minute, from shoulder to fingertip. She had really hurt it bad. She then looked out the window…it was almost nighttime again. She did not want to go back to sleep…to dream.

"Sano…" she whispered to herself. They had shared a short-lived romance, if it could be called such. She knew they only reason he turned to her was because Megumi was dead. He needed an outlet and she needed the attention and protection. It was an arrangement more than anything. She always felt Sanosuke died of a broken heart. Only a month after Megumi was buried, Sano died for no physical reason. Then, she and Kenji were alone. 

Kenshin. Why did he care so much? Why was she being so cruel? No, she has every right to treat him the way she treats him. Look at her life. Things would have been so much different. No, she can't allow herself to feel anything for him, not anymore. Even though a part of her self tugged when he smiled, when he asked about the past. She supposed it was possible a part of her still loved him. No…she couldn't. Not after what he put her though. Not after all the time that has passed.

Kaoru's eyes grew heavy and to her displeasure, she began to fall asleep. Her thoughts made her drowsy, emotionally draining. Hopefully, it would be a dreamless sleep, so she wouldn't have to revisit the past. 


	7. And Its Breaking Her Heart

Chapter Six:  
And It's Breaking Her Heart  
  
Kenshin had refrained from asking Kaoru any more questions about her past. She was quite upset for the first few days of her stay, but had mellowed a bit as time passed. She did not say much to him besides normal courtesies, and he did nothing but ask if she was hungry and told her that her bandages needed changing. She was still very stubborn. She tried to get up almost every day, but the pain was enough to keep her down for the most part. Still, she tried and tried until but the end of the week, she could pick up small objects. She still had that same spirit about her. She would not be denied.   
  
Morning had come and Kenshin fixed a big breakfast for Kaoru. His other guests would be pleased by the special and he knew she would be too. He opened the door to the room to find her standing by the window. The morning light was pouring inside the room, covering her body with a soft yellow light that illuminated her creamy skin. Her tan had faded since she had been in the house and she was now her original color. Her nightshirt was thin and hugged her curves beautifully. Her raven hair fell down her back. She seemed to be moving in slow motion when she turned to Kenshin, her glorious blue eyes staring back at him, melting his heart. She was stunning, he thought to himself. That was not the reason he fell in love with her, but one could not get around it. For a minute, he felt like they were back at the dojo, and she was about to give him orders for the day, his sweet, Kaoru-dono. She looked down at the tray and a little smile came over her face. Was he dreaming?  
  
"That actually looks good, but I am not hungry," she said, her tone a bit heavy. Something was bothering her. Kenshin walked into her room and placed the tray by her night stand. She watched his every movement. He turned to her, meeting her stare. She coughed nervously, then finally spoke.  
  
"I know you don't want me querying about you, but you seem rather…detached today," Kenshin said, moving closer to her. "I am wondering if you wouldn't mind sharing with me?"  
  
Kaoru's eyes narrowed as they normally did when Kenshin was around. It was always "Twenty Questions" with him. But, as the days passed, she understood his position more. MAYBE, he did think he was doing the right thing. Going of that assumption, of course he would be curious as to how her life turned out as it did. But, he still had not right, no right at all. Besides, she didn't want to relive the past…even though she had every night in her dreams.   
  
"No, Kenshin…no," she said, shaking her head. "You may not know what is bothering me."  
  
Kenshin sighed and nodded. He would respect her wishes. That was the only way he could get through to her, perhaps. He had to be patient, he had already lost so much from not thinking clearly and taking all things into account.   
  
"I will not intrude anymore, Kaoru-dono. This lowly one is not worthy of knowing, no, I am not," he said, as if he were the Rurouni again. She lowered her eyes as he shut the door behind him. She felt bad for him, for the first time in six years. She looked out the window, and sighed.   
  
Kenji would be five today.  
  
"Today's your son's birthday," she shouted, putting her head down. Kenshin stopped his stride down the hall and froze. Did she just…did he hear right? He ran back to the room to see her crying, her hand to her face, wiping the tears away. Kenshin's expression cracked. He opened his mouth to move, but nothing came out. His lungs moved but no air went into them. He moved closer to her, she did not back away, did not tell at him. He took her into his arms finally and embraced her like he had been longing to since the moment he saw her in the woods.   
  
"Kaoru-dono," he cried, holding her tight, hoping she would respond in like. Kaoru was in a state of shock over her own actions. Why did she call out, tell him that? He doesn't deserve to know this. No, why? There has to be a reason, she thought as she slowly began to trace her hands across his body and take him in. The warmth of his body, the feeling of it next to hers. She had gone so long without it. It felt…good. She didn't feel empty, for a change. She didn't feel cold…she needed this. Why?  
  
"I don't know why I am doing this," she whispered, tasting her salty tears. Kenshin shook his head and rubbed her hair gently, stroking it softly, seeing if it felt the same after all these years. It did. It was thicker, but it was still a cascade of silken strands. He then moved his hands down to her back, trying to feel her warmth through the thin fabric. She shuddered at the sensation of someone touching her. Was she rarely touched? Did she share contact with anyone?  
  
"What do you want me to do, Kaoru-dono," he asked her.   
  
"Make me forget. I don't want to feel pain…no pain," she cried, throwing her head back. Kenshin nuzzled his face into her neck and kissed her flesh ever so gently. Is this what she wanted, truly? Would she hate him even more? Did he care right now since he had her in his arms? Yes! He cared! He wanted her in his arms forever, not just for the moment. He would not just throw her away again. NEVER again. Kenshin moved his lips to her and grazed them. The touch sent heat flowing through both bodies, the contact hotter than lightning.  
  
"I can't make you forget, but I want you to heal. This won't make you heal," he whispered, kissing her between words. Kaoru screwed her face, her eyes burning from the tears, ears ringing from his words. Was he…rejecting her? She softly pushed him away to look him in the eye. She wanted to make sure she wasn't confusing the situation.  
  
"I cannot give you all of me, Himura. I may never be able to. I hate you, but I…I…" she couldn't finish her sentence. Could six years of hatred be melting off of her heart? Was she really ready to say what she was thinking, what she was feeling? YES…no…maybe? She didn't know. She was confused. She hated him, right? But, she loved him before he left? No…he left her pregnant and alone…no, she hated him. Yes…no…maybe?  
  
"Oh…just get out," she yelled, pushing him away, walking over to her bed. She sat down and plopped her head on the pillow and immediately started crying. Was she to go mad over this? No, she couldn't allow that to happen. THAT she was sure of. To rectify the problem, she'd just have to remove Himura out of the equation, then everything would be simpler. Kenshin lowered his head and walked out her room without saying anything to her. How much more could his heart take? Wait, how dare he even think that? How much has Kaoru been though? As much as he has. He never had to carry a child just to lose him. No, he had left…left her to deal with that on her own. He could not be selfish. He had to be patient.   
  
But if he left her alone, she would leave. Just like he did.  
  
"Kaoru-dono," he whispered ever so softly to himself. What was he to do?  
  
"Kenshin..." he heard come from behind him. Kaoru was standing there, biting her finger. She looked so innocent, so much like the Kaoru he had known. Her eyes were wide and unknowing. She looked…scared. She looked alone.  
  
"I…I don't know how to make this right," he admitted, cupping her cheek into his palm. She leaned her face into his touch and sighed.   
  
"I don't know how to make it right, either. Fact is…I don't know myself anymore," she confessed, "I don't know my own heart."  
  
Kenshin looked at her form somberly. She was in mental anguish, emotional turmoil. Her heart had been taken through the ringer and back again. The only way she survived is becoming the toughest of the tough. She never had to test the barrier she erected, not until she saw Kenshin again. And that barrier came crashing down. Kenshin took her hand and placed it between her breasts so she could feel her beating heart. It was racing with her lungs to see which could go faster. He then tilted her perfectly formed chin up, so her eyes could meet his.   
  
"I don't know your heart, either, but I know underneath it all…you are still Kamiya Kaoru, assistant master of the Kamiya Kasshin Ryu. The girl who told me that a sword should be used to protect, not hurt. I'll never forget that moment you first told me that, for that is the moment this lowly one knew his heart was yours," Kenshin said, brushing a strand of hair away from her face and behind her ear. Kaoru cut her eyes away from him, but did not push him away.  
  
"That girl does not exist. All that is left of her are memories. Can you find yourself in love with a murderer, Himura-san? An assassin? A mercenary? This is who I am, a persona formed almost directly by your hand. Can you love your creation, a person who is for everything you were once against," her humbled voice questioned. Kaoru then stared at Kenshin's pair of violet eyes, waiting for an answer. He had not considered her thought before. What if she was never to change? Could he love her? Could he do as his past love, Tomoe did? Kenshin nervously smiled and traced her face with his finger. The display of affection made Kaoru step back a bit. She was becoming uncomfortable with his reluctance to answer her questions.  
  
"I don't know, Kaoru. What I do know is that the Kaoru I fell in love with is still there. I can see her when you are angry. I can see her right now, in your eyes. I want her to come back, if not for me…for you. I know from experience, the life of an assassin is a lonely one," he said, now leaning against the wall. Kaoru, twisted her face in a mix of anger and hurt feelings. Hurt feelings? How can she be hurt by a man she hates? Because she still love him, perhaps?  
"If you cannot love who I am, you will never know me. You can never love me as before. I like being alone, Himura-san. You can't get hurt by anyone else," were the words she left Kenshin with before retreating back into her room. Once the door was shut, she leaned against it and slid down to the floor. She had never expressed her feeling as she just did. She was feeling a mix of fear, relief and exhilaration, but why? Could Kenshin have been right? Kaoru rubbed the bridge of her nose and stood up. She walked over to her bed and began to pack her sack. She would not stick around to find out. She had allowed him too deep into her mind, into place even she didn't travel anymore. He would mistake that as an invitation to dig deeper, something she was not ready to have happen. In a matter of moments, she had her clothes changed and her bag packed. She pocketed her money, put left a few coins at the night stand. Then, like a skilled thief, she crept out of the window silently and was on her way again, her destination unknown.   
  
  


1. 


	8. Journey To The Past

Chapter Seven:

Journey To The Past

Kaoru loosened her hair and let it cascade onto her bare back. She shook her fingers through to rid her silken strands of tangles they had acquired during her journey. She was tired. It was a long walk and the midsummer afternoon made it no more pleasant. The air was saturated with moisture, the sky draped in a haze that the sun barely broke through. It would storm. The distinct smell of rain lingered in the air, traveling over the mountains. It was the rainy season, after all. It was a violent season. Yet, Kaoru knew she would be safe in her shelter, the only place she called "home."

Her bare feet touched the cool stone as she tiptoed over to the little pool in the middle of her abode. The cave was wide, filled with her belongings. It was a good ten minute walk from the entrance to this area, more than enough time for her to seek and destroy any intruders. Kaoru carefully stepped into the water. It was always warm. It wasn't quite as warm as hot springs, but served its purpose just fine. She lowered her body into the water, save her injured arm. She slowly unwound the bandage and then slowly submerged it. The wound stung or a few moments, but the water did it much good. Her hair flowed around her in the water as she tilted her head back and let out a sigh. She was sleepy . . . but she did not want to sleep. She would remember, only remember.

She slid her hands down her body and caressed her stomach. Fingertips traced faded marks of stretched flesh, while not visible, they could be felt. A tear ran down her cheek as she remembered the cause of her slight imperfection . . . the single joy of her life.

"Kenji," she muttered through tears before falling victim to the sand man...and fell asleep.

The cries of a baby could be heard through the tattered screens of the dojo. Sanosuke ran frantically inside to see Kaoru kneeling over a red, sobbing Kenji. Kaoru looked up and Sano, trying to find some kind of guidance. He had to be able to do something, but what? Sano looked about, then ran outside to draw some water and grabbed some fresh towels. He rushed to Kaoru's side and dipped the cloth in the cool water. Taking great care, he placed the damp towel on Kenji's head, and his cries eased a bit. He sighed, relieved, and sat back wiping sweat from his brow. Kaoru was still stricken with worry, worried since her child had come down the influenza. His cough worried her, his cries tore her apart.

"Sano-kun, you have to save my baby," she pleaded, kissing her child's forehead as he began to rest. Sano frowned and took his lover into his arms, holding her close. He had done all he could the past couple of weeks to reassure Kaoru. He just wouldn't admit that he was doing it mostly for himself. He rubbed her head gently and placed his lips on her cheek. She exhaled deeply and then looked at her son. He looked so peaceful, like a little angel.

"Look, he is resting so nicely now. There is nothing to worry about, Missy," he whispered softly in her ear, nibbling slightly at it. A small smile graced her wary face and it evoked a chuckle from Sano.

"How naughty of you, thinking of other things while my child lay here so ill," Kaoru scolded, but only half-heartedly. 

"Oh, I think you are the naughty one, for having your mind in the gutter, Missy. Who said that was on my mind?" he teased, kissing her neck softly while taking hold of her breasts through her dogi. She gasped and threw her head back in a mix of shock and pleasure. 

"Sano, not in front of the baby," she said as she was quickly put on her back, Sano's weight on top of her. She could feel him growing under his own dogi. He was straining to keep himself up as he kissed her passionately. She swore that when he kissed her like that, that he did love her. But she knew better. They both needed each other...for reasons other than true love. They used each other as puppets to play out their feelings, because the persons they truly loved were gone.

"Chibi-Ken is fast asleep. He won't be awake for a couple of hours at least," he mumbled while loosening the belt to her outfit. Her chest was bare, her breasts full and inviting. He nibbled on one of her nipples, teasing them ever so slightly. She popped him on the forehead, making him stop.

"Those aren't for you, BAKA!" she yelled, pushing his head down to her belly button. He smirked and grabbed her by the waist, putting her pelvic area in the air. Her eyes grew wide, unsure of what he was doing. 

"Fine, I'll just eat where I'm wanted," he cooed and his tongue grazed ever so slightly over the opening of her womanhood. Kaoru shuddered as a cold chill ran through her whole body. She wasn't exactly over-experienced, but she never felt anything like that before. 

And it wasn't over yet. 

Sano stuck his tongue out like a dart and began to penetrate her with it. Kaoru began to grab at the floor, trying to hold in her voice so not to wake up Kenji. Her body was now on fire, she was about to explode. He moved upward to her little jewel and began to tease her, just grazing the sensitive node with his teeth. Kaoru's back arched as she moaned with pleasure. She was writhing under him. Sano smirked and lowered her body down.

"I see you aren't ready for all of that," he teased as he made quick work of his pants. Soon, his member was exposed. It was long and stiff, anticipating the pending bout. Kaoru gasped as he entered without hesitation. Her walls gripped him as he moved inside of her. She moaned along with him, his body hovering over hers. She could feel his heat and she loved it. She pulled him down closer to her and nuzzled her head in his shoulder. She kissed it softly before biting it. Sano growled, further aroused by her aggression. She dug her nails into his back as he began to work her harder. This would not end until both were satisfied.

At least sexually.

The sun had begun to set when Kaoru opened her eyes. Her head was laying on Sano's chest, her mass of raven hair tossed about. He was still sleep, his face calm as a bit of dribble fell from his lip. She chuckled and kissed his lips softly. Perhaps...this game, this charade would work after all. Perhaps...they did just need each other. She was all he had left, except for Kenji. 

KENJI!

Kaoru shot up and then glance over to where her son was. She nearly fell over Sano while doing so, waking him up. She removed the cloth from his forehead. His eyes were still closed. He was still sleep. Kaoru sighed deeply with relief and sat back to find Sano right behind her. She smiled as he caressed her naked shoulder, reassuring her.

"See, he'll be fine," he said, kissing her cheek. She nodded in agreement.

"You are right. It is time for him to eat. Maybe a good dose of mother's milk will do him good," she said, grabbing a dry cloth.

"Oh, I'm jealous," he teased. Kaoru hit him on the chest as they both chuckled. She picked up Kenji, and as soon as she touched him, she froze. Sano noticed her shock and then touched Kenji himself. His expression dropped as well.

He was cold.

"Kenji," she screeched frantically, picking her baby up. She cradled his body and pushed his mouth to her breast, hoping he would latch.

"KENJI," she screamed, shaking the baby, trying to get him to respond. 

But there was none.

She thought Kenshin leaving her was the worst pain she ever had to endure. Then she thought it was her dojo being nearly burned to the ground. Then she thought it was seeing the lives of her friends destroyed. But now, she couldn't breathe. Her chest was tight. She threw her head back and let out a scream that would rattle the bones of the dead.

"KENNNNNJIIII!"

Kenshin shot up from his slumber, his chest heaving heavily. Sweat rolled in his eye and down his face. His eyes darted about as he brought his hand to his face. Why? Why did he dream that? He then realized that tears were mixed with those beads of sweat and he pushed himself off of her tree he was resting against. He had to find her. He jumped back on his horse and darted through the thick forest. He didn't know where he was going, but his soul was leading him. He rode hard for several minutes before stopping at the mouth of a cave. A rumble of thunder rolled in the distance and drops of rain began to fall from the sky as the gently as the tears about his face.

"Kaoru-dono" he yelled, his voice frantic. He was answered with sobs, her broken body hunched over at the entrance. All he could see were the tears, the tears falling in torrents down her face.

"Kaoru, I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I love you! I'll always love you! I'll love you for who you are, now and forever," he repeated over and over to her as he took her into his arms. He sobbed on her bare shoulder and for once, her arms wrapped around his body. She was trembling with pain, her head aching, her heart throbbing. 

A flash of lightly streaked across the sky and as if it were the keeper of the heavens, heavy rain came crashing down on their bodies. But, they did not move. They stayed embraced with each other, withstanding the rain, comforting each other.


	9. Can I?

_Ok, Ok....I know I have depressed you guys to no end. Just bear with me, ok?_

  


Chapter Eight:

Can I?

  


The rain seemed to penetrate Kaoru's skin through the night shirt she managed to slip on before she darted out the cave. It was a hard, driving rain that stung as it fell onto her flesh not covered by Kenshin's small frame. She dug her nails into him and pulled him closer as she looked off blankly into the distance. Was this what she wanted? What she needed? She closed her eyes and took in his scent. He always smelled so pleasant, like fresh dew in the morning. Kaoru remembered how she loved to see in him the morning, working on breakfast. She would walk up to him and smell his fresh scent. It took her right back to the dojo, to those years. 

  


"How did you find me," she whispered in his ear, not daring to let him go. 

  


Kenshin nuzzled his head against her and let his warm breath fall against her cheek, creating a mist in the rain.

  


"I was looking for you and grew tired. I decided to rest against a try and I had a dream...about Kenji. When I awoke, I raced to find you," he said, trying to explain.

  


Kaoru backed away the moment she uttered Kenji's name. She looked at him, nothing but gray around him, the water dipping from every inch of his body. 

  


"Kenji...what about Kenji," she managed to ask through her shock. Kenshin shook his head and brought his hand to the nape of his neck. 

  


"I dreamed that he died..." he said, not telling the full of what he saw in his dream. The thought of his Kaoru-dono sleeping with Sanosuke almost made him blush. Kaoru saw his expression change and she became furious.

  


"BAKA, that's not all you saw, huh! What where you doing watching my dreams," she yelled, popping him upside the head. He fell over and his eyes began to swirl.

  


"Oro," he said while on the muddy ground. He sat up and then looked her in the eye, realizing their exchange. It was...just like old times. Kenshin rubbed the lump on his head, but not to make it go away. He missed having a lump on his head every day. Kaoru was not taking it as well though. She was confused and frightened. How was he doing this to her? The more she was around him, the more she found herself falling back in time. It scared her. She was not ready to go back there, she didn't want to. But it seemed the more she resisted, the deeper she fell in. Perhaps, just maybe...she should stop pushing away. She cut her eyes to the cave, then to Kenshin... and hoped she wouldn't regret her next move.

  


"Kenshin, you will catch your death out here. Come inside," she said as she walked into the entrance of the cave. Kenshin was surprised by her offer, but gladly accepted it without question. Not much was said during the walk to her lair. He just looked about at the rock formations. The smell of the cave was odd. It was damp and smelled of the limestone, but it wasn't unpleasant.

  


"Why would you want to live here," he asked, looking at her humble, yet complete holding. Kaoru turned around a look at him with a big of shock.

  


"Hey, YOU used to be a rurouni, too, yanno. I guess being an innkeeper had gone to your head already. Now just shut up before I change my mind," growled Kaoru as she went in a chest and grabbed some dry clothes. She slipped them over her body and then walked over to Kenshin, handing him a clean pair of trousers. He bowed as he accepted them and began to peel out of his rain-soaked clothes. He kept his eyes on Kaoru the whole time. She had lit a fire and placed a Chinese Wok over it. Then she added a bit of oil and rice and began to fry them. Kenshin smiled a bit...to see Kaoru cooking...like she was actually GOOD at it. Kaoru, feeling eyes on her, looked up at Kenshin. He was annoying her already, but she did invite him in. After the rice was cooked, she placed it in a bowl and handed it to Kenshin. He bowed and took it. The rice smelled wonderful.

  


"You have really improved," he said as he put the rice into his mouth. He chewed for a moment, then his jaws stopped. Yes, this was his Kaoru. Only she could foul up fried rice. Seeing how critically she as looking, he continued to chew and swallowed it down painfully. She frowned and took the bowl from him.

  


"You don't have to pretend, Kenshin," she said calmly. Right as she put the bowl down, she seemed to grow a hundred feet and fangs.

  


"YOU COULD HAVE TOLD ME YOU DIDN'T LIKE IT," she yelled, nearly blowing Kenshin away. He was beginning to wonder if the Hikotori Kaoru was actually safer to be around.

  


"Gomen nasi," he repeated, trying to calm the beast that roared within her. After a few moments, she calmed down and plopped down by the fire, warming herself up. Kenshin decided to stay right where he was and not to say a word, less he wanted to be chewed out again.

  


"Now, tell me what you saw in the dream," she demanded, not looking at Kenshin. He gulped, then searched his mind. He remembered seeing Kaoru and Kenji in the dojo. He had never seen his son, except for in that dream. He felt his heart ache a bit for him, for the lost memories never experienced, emotions never felt.

  


"Kenji was running a fever, sick with influenza. Sanosuke brought some water and towels to cool him off. After he fell asleep, you two," he paused for a moment, not being able to say what they did, "You two...when you woke, Kenji had already passed."

  


Kaoru's eyes stayed focused on the fire. She remembered holding his limp body in her arms, his perfect little face so calm. Her breathing became harsh as she fought tears. 

  


"That is what happened. For a long time, I blamed myself. I felt if I had not been fooling around with Sano, I would have been alert when he turned for the worst. I talked to a doctor about a year later, but when I listed the symptoms Kenji had, he said he was as good as dead days before he died. My dear Kenji," she explained in a quiet tone, her voice growing fainter. She could almost see him again, she her pride and joy.

  


"Kaoru-dono, what happened in Tokyo?"

  


The question hit Kaoru like a ton of bricks. Her eyes narrowed dangerously at him, as if he had no right or reason to ask such a question. In a way, he didn't. He was no fool, he knew full well what happened in Tokyo. Raijuuta's plans succeeded. Even after his battle with Kenshin, he continued his quest to overthrow the government. He had regrouped and unleashed an attack on Tokyo. They felt the best way to start was from the ground up, and Tokyo was burnt down. Many people lost their lives, guilty only of trying to save their families, their possessions, their land. Merciless wolves, they took over the city in a year. It again was an era of wearing katana's on your hip and killing or being killed. 

  


"That is a stupid question, Himura-san," Kaoru spat, rising from her sitting position, pacing back and forth. Kenshin lowered his head, trying to figure out how to clean his words up.

  


"When I meant was, what happened that turned you into a mercenary, a killer," he said. Kaoru rolled her eyes and turned her back to him. She should have figured he would continue to ask questions. She slowly turned back around, her attitude still evident. 

  


"After Sanosuke died, I was on my own, completely. There weren't a lot of good-paying jobs available to women at the time. I could be either a prostitute or an opium-pusher. Neither were choices for me. I took what money I had left, my bokken and set off. I had no plan, really, just to get out of there. I was up in the mountains when I was attacked by a band of thieves. I was able to fight all but one off. He had a katana, me, just my bokken. He and slashed it in half and was about to kill me when I just hurled the useless piece of wood at him. It struck him in the neck and crushed his windpipe. I had killed him," Kaoru explained, her head lower as she relived the events. She took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly, as if trying to remember the rest.

  


"I had never killed before. I was scared and ashamed. I buried his body and took his katana. Why I kept it, I know, but I did. As days passed, I came to grips with what I did. It was self-defense. I realized that my ideals, as you said when you first met me, were childish. I knew I wasn't a child anymore, so I threw those ideals away. I practiced with his katana. I took my training and what I had seen of your swordsmanship and learned to kill with it. I killed often, for men were either trying to rape or rob me. Word got around about me and it wasn't long before someone offered me to kill for money. I needed it. I accepted the offer. I have been doing it ever since."

  


Kenshin sat in his place, taking in her words. He was shocked, yet he was not. He knew how ti was to be a victim of circumstance. He knew what it was like to be a prisoner to the smell of blood, the exhilaration of the kill, the cold feeling each death left you with. It turned your heart to ice. You became numb, mechanical. The only emotion you showed was in battle, when you smirked to see another fallen opponent. 

  


"In Kyoto, death was expected. You did not cross my sword and live, that was the point...the very reason I was there. I was but a child, though. I was 15 when I married. It took losing my family to turn me cold. It took losing my wife to see the light," he said as the words came to him. He looked up at Kaoru, her eyes still on the ground. He hadn't talked much about his wife...not even in the somewhat peaceful days in Tokyo. His past was a mystery to her, but he was opening up.

  


Finally.

  


"You once told me your wife changed you. How had she impacted you," Kaoru asked. 

  


Kenshin did not hesitate to explain the sorted details. Kaoru hung onto his every word and he mentioned Tomoe and how he had killed her fiancee and how the who affair ended with his sword penetrating her body. Finally, the origin of his scar was revealed, and the real reason he swore never to kill again. Kaoru dropped her eyes, her eyes looking at the now dying fire in front of her. She had realized he had taken at least two hours explaining everything to her. She felt sheepish. She knew his past was sorted, but she never could have imagined that. They had more in common than she ever imagined...than she would have ever liked to have in common with him.

  


"Kaoru-dono," he said, trying to get through her silence. Her head rose and she looked him in the eye. "Kaoru, because of what Tomoe did for me...I know I can love you. That is the gift she left me, I know it. I love you more than my next breath Kaoru. I left because I thought you would be better off without me. Instead, you turned into the creature I was once. Even still, I love you. I will always love you. Though, I will always miss my sweet Kaoru from Tokyo, I will always love the woman she has grown to be."

  


Kaoru's eyes began to well with tears. She didn't know what to say. What could she say? Her own hate for him seemed so petty now. Suddenly, it seemed not to matter. His pain matched hers. This wasn't fair! She still wanted to hate him. She had to hate him. That hate his driven her all these years! What would be her fire now? Her reason for living?

  


Before she could think another thought, she felt arms around her and Kenshin's head resting on her shoulder. And for once, she didn't think. She didn't hate. She didn't mourn.

  


She took him into her arms, and kissed him.

  


_Awwww, ain't that so sweet? And it's not over yet, nope! This is a bridging chapter to the next part of the fic. What lies ahead for the pair. Has she really forgiven him? Can he really love her as he says he can? There's only one way to find out!_

  
  



	10. The Unforgiven

Chapter Nine:

_The Unforgiven_

  


Thunder rolled through the thick night air as the torrent of rain slowed to a slight pitter-patter. The mornings first light fought its way through breaks in the clouds as the flowers began to break free from their protective slumber. The smell of damn grass flooded the air, the freshness of the new day...a day that would bring promise.

  


Kenshin stuffed a small bag with his few belongings. He gathered the small amount of money he had earned at the Kamiya dojo for doing the light chores and cooking and placed it in a pouch. Assured he had left nothing, he walked back to Kaoru's room and opened the screen. She was still sleeping peacefully. She looked so angelic, so beautiful. He wanted to walk over to her and touch her face and place a gentle kiss on her lips one more time. He wanted to take her into his arms and embrace her until his heart was content. But he knew if he did, he would never let her go. He would never stop kissing her. He would never leave her side.

  


He would be her doom.

  


He could not bury his love. Not ever again. He had endangered her life by just existing. If he stayed, she would die. If he left, she would live. She would flourish. She would prosper. She did not need him. He would be her death.

  


Yet, the most difficult thing he ever had to do in his life was peel himself away from her bedroom door.

  


Kaoru stirred for a moment and Kenshin slide th screen shut before she awoke. He dashed out of the dojo without making any sounds. He made it down the street, before he heard his name being called. He stopped and froze. It was Yahiko.

  


"Where are you going," Yahiko questioned, carrying an empty bucket and a rod for fishing. Kenshin turned around to face the young boy. Quickly, Yahiko noticed the serious look about his face.

  


"What are you doing up so early," Kenshin shot back, not at all being his usual, cheery self. Yahiko frowned and walked closer to Kenshin so he wouldn't have to yell. After they were face to face, Yahiko put his bucket down and examined Kenshin. He noticed that he had a bag that was quite full and his Sakabatou was accompanied by a change bag.

  


"Why are you leaving? Does Kaoru know," quizzed Yahiko. Kenshin winced as if he had just been dealt a blow at the mention of Kaoru's name. Now he wanted to run back inside the dojo and apologize for ever considering leaving again. But, he couldn't do that. He could never come back.

  


"I am a rurouni, after all If Kaoru knew, she would stop me, that she would," he explained the best he could without crumbling into pieces. Yahiko stomped his foot and pushed Kenshin so hard he fell to the ground. He stood over Kenshin, his eyes covered by his spiky bangs. 

  


"Bullshit! You can't leave Kaoru. You can't leave me or Sano or Megumi. What about Ayame and Suzume? You are being selfish," Yahiko yelled to his idol, his savior. How could he leave now? Why would he? Was he tired of always protecting them? Were they not worthy of his skill? Why after all this time would Kenshin leave them?

  


"Yahiko-kun, take care of Kaoru," Kenshin said, standing up and brushing the dust off his clothes. Yahiko balled his fists and kicked the bucket he had rested in the ground at Kenshin.

  


"YOU take care of Kaoru. She will be crushed, but I'm not going to clean up after your mess. You stay here where you belong," demanded Yahiko, but on deaf ears his words fell. Kenshin lowered his head and continued down the street and away from the dojo.

  


"Kenshin, you coward," Yahiko yelled after him, until he disappeared from ear shot.

  


"Coward...is that what I am," Kenshin whispered to himself as he exited the city and entered the forest.

  


Kenshin was never able to answer the question he posed himself honestly. Not then, not now as he looked up at the dark ceiling of the cave. Kaoru had long ago fallen asleep. After their talk, he had taken some of the rice she had and the meat he carried with him and fried it together. She was thankful to have such delicious food again. She ate, then when she was full, she fell asleep. Deep down, she was still the same girl. He could see it in her when she wasn't busy being a murderer. Funny how survival changes a person...

  


"What is troubling you," Kaoru's voice questioned softly, echoing off the cave walled. Kenshin turned his head to meet her face. She was only a few feet away, dressed in a large shirt and nothing more. Kenshin blushed, then darted his eyes away from her.

  


"I was just thinking about Yahiko," he admitted. Kaoru sat up a bit, her mind remembering the headstrong lad that was often a thorn in her side. But how she cared for him! Out off all her travels, she has never seen him again. She didn't even know if he was alive, but she was sure he was in her heart.

  


"Yahiko left soon after you did and never gave a reason. He idolized...no, he worshiped you. I think his heart was as broken as mine," she commented matter-of-factly. She wasn't trying to make Kenshin feel bad, but it was the truth. Kenshin, nodded, acknowledging her words.

  


"I should have come back when I heard of the happenings in Tokyo, but I was so far away. For some reason, I knew you would all be fine. I was a fool," he said, lowering his gaze to the floor.

  


"Do not apologize for which you cannot change, Himura. It has passed. I forgive you. I am sure Megumi, Sano and even Yahiko have forgiven you as well," she said, a yawn escaping her mouth. Kenshin nodded and stood up to stretch out, and in doing so, caught a good smell of his body. It had been a while since he bathed and he knew his scent was quite offending. Kaoru noticed Kenshin checking himself out and began to chuckle

  


"Please, help yourself to a bath. The water is always temperate," she offered. Kenshin bowed politely and walked over to a large stone and treated it as a changing platform that barely covered his lower region. He blushed, having not undressing in front of another woman in some years. Kaoru smirked, the turned her head the other way to give him some privacy. Kenshin took off the pants she had given him then made a short dash for the pool. He slowly lowered himself into the water, getting used to the temperature. Kaoru fought hard not to turn her head completely and it was a losing battle. She turned around and watched as every inch slipped below the liquid. Her eyes were transfixed, scanning a body she had not seen in years. A body her body had been longing for. She continued to stare, not at all shocked by her actions. He was her first, after all, the father of her only child. There was no shame in her lusting after him.

  


"How is the water," she asked as she stood up and walked over to Kenshin. 

  


"It's perfect," he said, gazing at her body as she walked to him. Kaoru smiled and grabbed a cloth from her chest. She then took off her shirt right in front of Kenshin ans stepped into the pool. His eyes grew wide as he took in all of her magnificent form. Her body was glorious. It was not as thin as it was in you younger years. The curves that motherhood gave her suited her nicely. 

  


"Mind if I join you," she asked, her tone low and her finger tips grazing along the surface of the water, her wet hair clinging to her body. Kenshin shook his head, unable to say a word as she approached. Kaoru let go of the cloth and placed her soft lips upon Kenshin's. It was a short, but gentle kiss, leaving both parties wanting for more. Kaoru fell into his arms and they embraced passionately. 

  


Meanwhile, the rain had slowed to a drizzle, the clouds still gray. A young man walking through the woods happens upon Kenshin's horse. He examines it, then sees the entrance to the cave. His eyes narrows as he backs away and slips further back int the dense growth of trees. He had finally tracked him down. It took six years, but he finally succeeded. He placed his hand on his side and touched the cool metal of his katana. 

  


"Your head will me mine, Himura," the young man whispered into the damp air as he disappeared back into the forest. 

  
  


_Well, well...seems Kaoru and Kenshin have made up quite nicely. Who is this young man (as if we all don't know) and why does he want to kill Kenshin? Ok, it's a kinda-sorta cliff-hanger...but one none-the-less. R AND R_


	11. The Plot Thickens

Chapter 10:

_The Plot Thickens_

  
  


A dark figure stood in front of a fire, watching the flames dance in the cool air the rains had brought. With his fingertips resting at his temples, he closes his eyes, trying to concentrate and clear is mind. He knew his target was near. He could almost smell him, taste him, feel him. His spirt has not diminished over the years, he thought. He doesn't even hide it at this moment. How it will be to face him again. To fight him again. To have his blood dripping off his sword. The man smiled devilishly at his thoughts.

  


In the background, a young woman with midnight hair neatly pulled back into a single braid fought an invisible foe not too far away. She kicks and sweeps the shadow, knocking it off its imaginary feet. On the ground, she goes in for the kill, bringing her knee to its neck, snapping its windpipe. She smirked devilishly, then stood up. The young woman brushed the mud off her shoes as she noticed a cloaked man coming towards the camp. A softer smile runs across her face as she opens her arms to greet him.

  


"Yahiko," she yelled happily, taking his hood off of his head and kissing him on the cheek. He flashed a brief smile and took her hand into his.

  


"Misao," he said, addressing her almost formally. Her smile faded as Yahiko walked over to the tall, dark man. His hair was also the color of burned velvet. His eyes were nothing more then narrow slits. Parts of his hair framed his ominous face, falling into his eye. He looked of evil, smelled of evil. He turned to face Yahiko, whose expression was deadly serious. His hair was now much longer than he had it in his younger years. It was in a traditional ponytail sitting high on his head. The ends were spikey, just as his old mop used to be. His features were chiseled, more mature, even though you could still see the youth in his eyes. He had also grown to an impressive height. He towered the older, more experienced, man by at least four inches. 

  


And Saitou was no shrimp.

  


"I see you have found the Battousai," his dark voice proclaimed. Yahiko nodded and sat down on the ground near the flame.

  


"Hai. Obviously, he sought shelter in a cave from the rain. He left his inn to go looking for a woman he had boarded for a week, according to the townspeople," he explained, pulling a piece of bread from his side bag. He nibbled on the hard meal, waiting for his sensei to respond.

  


"Just what woman could he have been boarding? Most of the people speculated he was gay since he never pursued a woman while in town and almost violently turned down any woman who tried to get near him," Misao blurted out, trying to make since off the matter.

  


"I assure you, he is not gay. He has a child out there somewhere to prove it," Yahiko spat, the disgust more than obvious in his tone.

  


"Enough with the small talk, it is meaningless. We will wait no longer to move out. I'm sure he will be back at his inn by morning. We will meet him there," Saitou smiled, his only show of emotion. 

  


The Battousai. 

  


He had been tracking him for nearly seven years. He had watched him as he converted from rurouni to a domestic servant at the Kamiya Dojo. He had seen his battles, seen how he had softened to a mere weakling. It disgusted him to no end. He had been hired to kill him, but that meant nothing if he was trying to kill a nobody. Then, before he had the chance to exact his plan as he desired, Himura had disappeared again. It was too late for the government the Battousai fought for. He had left the Kamiya girl in a shameful predicament. Before, he had only wanted to kill him to settle the matter they had started in Kyoto. He ended up hating him with every fiber of his being. He had never been the emotional or caring type, but he knew not to knock a young virgin up and leave her to fend for herself. He thought of his wife, whom he rarely saw but loved dearly. He would never to anything of the sort to her, or any other woman. Life was cruel, but you don't have to be a bitch about it and run. 

  


During his sweep of the city looking for Himura, he stumbled across the young and impressionable Yahiko. He had run away from the dojo after Kaoru discovered she was pregnant with the Battousai's child. At first, he searched for Kenshin to bring him back. Then, he searched to kill him, even when he knew he was no match for him. That is how Saitou became his sensei. He was surprised by how well Kaoru had actually taught him, but it was all the wrong material. A sword art that was not meant to kill was useless if you wanted to exact an assassination. The young boy was eager to learn the way of the Shinsengumi, the only art that could defeat the Battousai

  


Yahiko was still very eager to find Kenshin and kill him with every new skill he learned, so they left Tokyo to prevent any distractions rumors would cause. Along the way, they had met the troublesome Misao. She had attempted to steal from Yahiko, after she had lured him into the woods with the promise of some illicit action. She managed to wound him and if Saitou hadn't heard the commotion, she might have killed him. She announced to Saitou that she was the only female member of the Oniwaban group and would kill him. 

  


Of course, Saitou beat her within an inch of her life, but as he was about to deal the final blow, she stabbed him with a dagger and managed to get away. Saitou was shocked, but also pleasantly surprised. She had a good background in Kempo, though the years she spent on her own had dampened her skill. She was quick on her feet and in wit. She was not as injured as she let on, and that allowed her to get away, momentarily anyways. It took him only a few minutes to track her down. That is when he offered that she joined him, granted she be disciplined.

  


She promised she would...but if that wasn't a lie, he didn't know what was.

  


She ran off, continued her life of crime and managed to kill a few people...but she kept up with her lessons. For that, Saitou had no objections, though he felt like a babysitter at times. The problems really started when Yahiko came of age. Though Misao was older than Yahiko, she had grown a liking to him. Hell, if it were the other way around, not an eyelash would have fluttered. Seeing how the now 22 year old woman still looked as a child and Yahiko looked like a man, he saw no problem in letting the pair dally with each other. He understood how the young needed affection.

  


"Saitou-sensei, are you alright," Misao question, her innocent green eyes peering at him. 

  


"Hai, I was just thinking. Let us go," he said, walked into the woods. The young couple followed him as they made their way to the little town of Fujiki. 

  


_OK, ok, I know...this is a filler chapter. I couldn't think of anything to write after this point, so I'll just end the chapter here. So, I know some of you were wondering what happened to Saitou. Yes, people still wanna kill Kenshin. Maybe someone will want to kill Kaoru later, LOL_

  
  
  



	12. Reason being

Chapter 11:

_Reason Being_

  


The morning sky was overcast, but the sun fought to break through cracks in the blanket of clouds. The usually brilliant sun had to play second fiddle, only lighting the sky enough to let it be known day was here. This is how Kenshin met the new day as he exited the cave. He still had to adjust his eyes, as he had gotten used to the darkness within. He looked about taking in the damp, cool air. He saw his horse and smiled. He approached the magnificent creature, but stepped back as he got closer.

  


Footprints.

  


Someone had been here overnight, the soggy ground proved that. It was a male. His print was deep, but narrow, indicating a tall, slender build. Kenshin screwed his face, trying to figure out who could have stumbled across this area. 

  


Or was he being followed.

  


"Footprints," Kaoru said to herself a bit of disbelief, hanging over Kenshin's shoulder. He turned to her and nodded, outlining the print with his finger.

  


"It is a familiar to me, but I don't know why," he said, stand up, putting his hand on his hilt. Kaoru's face grew serious and she realized the implications of this discovery. She did her best to find rarely trekked areas so not to be disturbed. This is not a place someone finds by chance.

  


"Someone is after me," Kaoru said, her tone low, but clear. This woman was so unlike the Kaoru he had known. He had remembered when Kaoru took off her Kimono and ribbon and stepped into her dogi. She had the heart and determination of a swordsman then. It was always in her, he supposed.

The swordsman...not the murderer.

  


"These tracks a few hours old. I think we will be able to follow them for a ways," he said, mounting his horse. 

  


Kaoru nodded, then joined him on the mare. This time, she let him lead and he followed the trail of footprints until the led to a burnt-out campfire. Then there were two more sets. Kenshin eyed a pattern. Someone had been practicing a martial arts. Then the prints merged and left to the direction of his town. 

  


"Whoever is following us went ahead. They are probably leading an ambush," Kaoru said, looking at her surroundings closely. Kenshin nodded and calculated how long it would take for them to arrive to town on foot.

  


"They will not get there long before us. Must be some well-planned affair," Kenshin said as they began to move forward. Kaoru "hmphed" and braced the sides of the horse. 

  


"Whoever they are, they will be in for a rude awakening when they encounter two Hitokiri's," she said with a hint of cruel pleasure in her voice. She was already imagining slashing her stalker in two. The smell of blood entered her nostrils and the corners of her lips curled into an almost evil smile. Kenshin's expression remained unchanged. Her words chilled his blood, but he did not want to bring up her choice of life again. He didn't want to start arguing again. He didn't want to upset her.

  


But...there's always a but.

  


She a cocky. She is one hundred percent sure of her ability, as so is he, but something is not right. Something didn't feel right. Why would the group not attack while they were sleep in the cave? Kenshin was vulnerable. Whoever planned this wasn't just some amateur. 

  


"We must be very careful. If they are after one of us, trust they know our strength," he said as they trotted along. Kaoru rolled her eyes and leaned forward to whisper in Kenshin's ear.

  


"Yes, they are only preparing for one killer, not two. We will cut them down to size easily," she purred. Kenshin stopped the horse and turned to a surprised Kaoru.

  


"Kaoru, I am not a mercenary like you, I try not to kill," he said firmly, his violet eyes piercing her blue orbs. She returned the stare, not believing his words.

  


"Then why carry the katana if you don't kill...or as you said 'try' not to kill," she spat. Kenshin lowered his eyes. Yes, he did let that slip. He didn't want her to know for sure. He wanted her to speculate, but the truth is always revealed.

  


Always.

  


He took a deep breath and dismounted the horse and Kaoru followed, bewildered. This would be interesting.

  


"After I accidentally killed Tomoe, I had the crossed shaped scar. I made a pact to never kill again, after the Revolution of course. After I received the second slash, whenever I killed, the wound reopened and bled. I guess it was Tomoe's way of keeping me in line, so I would never forget. When I began to wander, the wound began to heal and never bled again, because I never killed."

  


"After I left you, I went in search of my Master. I found him outside of Kyoto. I begged him to teach me the final technique of the Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu. After some convincing, he agreed. It was very difficult training...I even turned into the Battousai in an attempt to master the skill, but he shunned me. He said I needed to search deep in my heart, for the heart of a murderer could never master the technique. So, I sat in the rain all night, trying to find the piece of the puzzle. I never did, until it was time to attack," he said, pausing as swallowed hard. Kaoru was biting her lip, waiting for the next detail. She was in suspense.

"SO what happened," she asked, wanting him to continue. Kenshin looked up at her, his eyes sad.

  


"I thought of you...and of the others. How you all had the will to move on, move forward. As I had been, I did not care if I lived or died. This was especially true if I turned into the Battousai. As the Rurouni, I learned to love and care again. I wanted to live...to see you again," he said as his voice wavered. Tears began to form in Kaoru's eyes. 

  


"And..." she said, edging him to continue. His eyes were hidden behind his bangs as his lips barely moved.

  


"I mastered the technique. And in doing so, I killed him...with the Sakabatou," his low voice uttered. Kaoru's eyes grew wide with shock. The power he must had gained in order to kill with that sword is completely mind-boggling.

"So, you broke you promise...and your wound bled," she said more to herself than to Kenshin. Still, he nodded and rose his head, revealing a single tear upon his left cheek, where his scar had turned red.

"The blood gushed from my wound. I felt lightheaded, that's how bad it bled. For days, I felt lost. The Sakabatou was supposed to dampen my power, prevent me from killing. I had failed. The Sakabatou had failed. I could no longer carry it...the sword that killed my master. So, I figured that a Katana would serve me better. I try not to use my sword if possible, but I warn if I must, I will kill. I can say only two others have fallen victim, others severely injured, maimed. Now, my wound bleeds often. I have broken many promises, as you stated before...but I have never turned into the Battousai. Master taught me how to use all of my strength without ever having to revert. I am a killer without him. Is that a blessing or a curse," he said, walking back over to him mare, patting her nose. 

Kaoru looked at the ground, her mind trying to accept what she had just heard. It was difficult to take in, but she understood. Besides, there was no time to be angry at him. They had more pressing matters to tend to. Kaoru took in a deep breath and climbed back onto the back of the horse. Kenshin did not question her, only followed suit and they continued on.

_I know, I know. I'm killing off everyone. I'm sorry, Kenshin's master is just too damn cocky for my fanfic...LOL. He's the RK version of Vegeta for cripe's sake, LOL. Anyhoo, hope you enjoyed this chapter. More to come as I scrape up free time. _


	13. Meeting of Old Acquaintances

_Chapter 12:  
Meeting of Old Acquaintances_  
  
The coolness of the morning proved to be deceptive for the afternoon sun mercilessly beamed down onto the earth, heating the air to the point that the birds grew silent and stayed perched as to not over-exert themselves. The air was still dry, meaning no rain would come to relieve the forest.  
With the heat so extreme, Kenshin decided to rest a moment at a watering hole only a few minutes out the way. Quite a few of the forest animals had found their way there. Predators waded with their prey, for all only wanted one thing, to quench their thirst. The mare drank greedily as Kaoru cupped  
a handful of water and splashed it on her face. They only had about ten more minutes until they were back in Kenshin's town. She was quite anxious to find out who was following them. Then she would enjoy torturing them…since Kenshin had such a big problem with her killing.  
  
"I think we should be on our way," he said, disrupting her thoughts.  
  
Kaoru nodded and took one last sip of water before getting back on the horse and making the short ride to the inn. She placed the cloak of her hood on her head despite the heat. It had been determined that Kenshin was the target of the stalkers and that her identity should be concealed for as long as possible. Kenshin's flaming hair seemed to burn even brighter in the hot sunlight, his soft-framed face with a hard look upon it. They were prepared for whoever was out there. Mercenaries or not, both were undeniably the best swordsmen out there. There was no one that could possibly match their combined skill.  
  
There couldn't be.  
  
The pair rode slowly into town. Just as on the first day she arrived, the streets were nearly empty due to the heat. Not even a single child was outside playing. It was deadly silent. It was as if they had happened upon a ghost town.  
  
"It's too quiet," Kaoru said, still searching for some living being.  
  
Kenshin's eyes only narrowed as they reaching Himura Lodging. It appeared as if no one had entered or exited since he left, but there were patrons here as well as servants he left in charge while he was gone. He dismounted and walked to the front door, sliding it open. Shock filled his heart as is  
eyes grew wide in disbelief. Kaoru slid off the horse to see the matter and she couldn't believe her eyes. She walked over to one of the bodies strewn on the floor. She turned a young woman over to examine her cause of death. She had been impaled in the forehead, her eyes still open. Kaoru frowned  
and closed the young girl's lids. Kenshin's staff and guests had all been murdered.  
  
"Their blood is still warm," he said, picking up a young boy whose head was hanging on by a small piece of flesh. He looked at the boy, trying to figure out why. The blood on his tiny hands, he did not deserve to die like this. His vision grew blurry as tears flooded his eyes. Tears of anger flowed, anger like he had not felt in a long time. Then, as if struck by a bolt of lightning, his head snapped up and his wide violet eyes were sharper and more focused. Kaoru let out a sigh and walked over to Kenshin,  
taking the child's body out of his arms.  
  
"Just don't go all Battousai on me, ok," she said, putting the little boy's body back on the floor. She then noticed footprints in the blood than did not belong to her. They led to the back of the inn. She motioned for him to follow, but he had already walked passed her. When he did, it felt as if a  
cool wind swept over her. She shuddered. His whole demeanor changed.  
  
Kenshin arrived at the screen that led to the back, but stopped before opening it. He examined it carefully and could see the shadow of a rope on the other side. He silently pointed it out to Kaoru. She smirked and withdrew her sword, slashing the screen and the rope. As the pieces of  
paper and wood crashed down, three figures could be seen. Kenshin's heart nearly leapt out of his flesh as he immediately recognized one of the figures.  
  
"Hajime Saitou, former leader the of third Shinsengumi squad," Kenshin said, walking forward. Kaoru cocked a brow, surprised, but not too much.  
  
"Shinsengumi? The wolves of the Revolution, eh? You were right, it wasn't just some ordinary stalkers," she said, her tone low.  
  
"It has been a long time, Battousai. Good to see you carrying a katana again," Saitou said, removing his cigarette from his lip, blowing out smoke into the oppressive heat.  
  
"You have sixty seconds to explain you reason for killing those people, then I will kill you myself," Kenshin said, his violet eyes narrow, his brow low. Kaoru smirked. About time his put his foot down, she thought.  
  
"We have nothing to explain to you. Since when do murderers have to explain anything," the younger man stated. Kenshin looked him up and down, noting his familiar presence. His auburn hair was pulled into a ponytail much like he used to wear during the Revolution. His brown eyes and spiky hair sent goose pimples raising all over his body. Kaoru had already realized who he said the second he opened his mouth and drew the attention to him. Her hands began to tremble as her eyes gazed on someone she had not seen in six years. The thought she would be happy to see him again. Instead, she knew she would probably end up killing him.  
  
"Yahiko," Kenshin finally managed to utter. The young boy smirked, noting the reaction he got.  
  
"I'm surprised you remember me, Kenshin. After how you left all of us, but hey, that's all in the past. I'm only interested in killing you and the wench you are traveling with. Guess Kaoru didn't mean that much to you after all," he said, withdrawing his sword and getting in stance.  
"Hey, let me handle the broad. She looks easy to handle," Misao said, balling her fists. Yahiko nodded and motioned for her to go ahead.  
  
"So, are you prepared to die, wench? Are you so scared that you will not reveal your face. Right before Misao deals the final blow, she will remove that cloak so I my spit on your dying body for thinking you could ever replace her," Yahiko said, an evil smirk on his face.  
  
Kaoru's eyes narrowed as the young girl approached her. She seemed too undisciplined to have any kind of real skill. Besides, how would her fists defeat battoujutsu? She shrugged and stepped forward, her hand slightly above the handle of her sword. Saitou watched her footsteps carefully, her  
movements. He brought his cigarette back to his lips and inhaled deeply.  
Misao would be in for a rude awakening. If she lived, this would serve as a good lesson to her.  
  
"Prepare to die," Misao yelled, pulling a machete from her waistband and slashing at Kaoru, who easily blocked the attack. Misao stepped back and put her hand on her hips.  
  
"Hmm, you're better than I thought. Oh well, that's what I get for underestimating my opponent, I guess," she said, charging Kaoru again. She sidestepped and withdrew her sword in the same instant, preparing to slash Misao across the back. But, she would not be so easily defeated either. She  
pulled out another machete from behind and blocked the blow. She slid for a couple of feet before rising again. She was panting, surprised she was almost hit. Her eyes narrowed in anger. Kaoru only chuckled a bit.  
  
Like a lion playing with a mouse.  
  
Kaoru withdrew her katana and pressed her right foot into the ground…then she was a blur. Everyone's eyes grew wide with surprise at the speed she had reached in just two steps. Misao could barely follow her movement as Kaoru darting right behind her and jumped into the air, he katana raised  
over her head. Misao put a kunai between her fingers and tossed it towards Kaoru, who had no choice but to block, giving Misao just enough room to escape.  
  
Both landed on opposite sides, Kaoru standing tall, her hood still covering her face. Yahiko began to look worried. Her moves were painfully familiar and her speed was godlike. He had heard of the deadly beauty that would kill anyone for the right price. Could it be that Kenshin had hired her for  
protection, the Female Hitokiri?  
  
"Enough! You are no match for me and I will kill you mercilessly if you continue," Kaoru said, removing her hood. Saitou smirked as his own thoughts were confirmed.  
  
Now, it was Yahiko's turn to be in complete and utter shock. The woman Kenshin was traveling with…the merciless mercenary is none other than Kamiya Kaoru. Yahiko shook his head in disbelief as Misao gritted her teeth. How dare she insult her like that and her love let her get away with it! Misao fumed and was about to leap after Kaoru before Saitou grabbed her by the collar.  
  
"Baka, do you know who she is? She is the Hitokiri and she will kill you when she tires of playing with you," he said casually, yanking her down, making her fall flat on her rear. Misao balled her fists, steam rising from her body.  
  
"I can beat her up, you taught me well. Don't you believe in your student,"she yelled, her head growing one hundred fold. Saitou just chuckled and threw his cigarette butt to the ground.  
  
"Maybe if you took your training a bit more seriously and practiced your forms instead of always shitting off your time, you would be able to have a chance against her," he said, still chuckling. Misao's face grew red as she yelled obscenities in her sensei's ear. Yahiko did not pay attention to the  
commotion. He was still shocked by this current revelation.  
  
"Kaoru," he said, walking over to her. Both she and Kenshin stayed on guard. There was no telling what would happen next.  



	14. Clash of the Titans

_WOW! 102 reviews! Thanks a lot everyone for the support in writing this fic. Check the end of this chapter for the Hundred Review Review!_

  


Chapter 13:_  
Clash of the Titans_  
  
The two groups stood on opposite sides of the back lawn. The afternoon soon beat down on their cloaked bodies, causing each to sweat. The breeze that blew passed only brought a wave of hotter air, further fueling the atmosphere for the pending storm. Yahiko walked towards Kaoru, but 

Kenshin drew his katana, halting his advance. He sneered at the sword and pushed it aside.  
  
"I will deal with you in a moment. First, I want to talk to Kaoru," he said, glaring Kenshin down.  
  
"I believe it was you that said no conversation was necessary, Yahiko. Leave now, or we will have to kill all of you," she said, her tone as cold as ice. Her blue eyes pierced into Yahiko's heart.  
  
Kill?  
  
Would Kaoru kill anyone? Not the Kaoru he knew. The Kaoru he knew stood for what was right, stood for justice. There is no way she was the Hitokiri, no way! He had killed only to get to Kenshin, to make him pay for his sins. He had run away from them always, he was going to make him pay. Why was she stopping him?  
  
"You are not the Hitokiri, are you," he finally asked. You could hear the urgency in his voice, though he tried to hide it. Saitou could very well hear it…he wanted to strangle the boy for being so 

weak.  
  
"So what if I am? There is no reason for you to hunt Kenshin down and kill just to get at him. This is not you, Yahiko," Kaoru said, walking closer to for former student.  
  
"Hypocrite! You kill people for money. You are a murderer for hire. You are no different from me. At least I do it for a reason. What is your reason, eh? What's your excuse? I track down Kenshin and train for six years to defend your honor only to find out you have none left and have become his  
wen…" he was on he ground before he could finish the sentence. The right side of his face felt as if it were on fire. He slowly rose to his knees and grabbed his jaw. He looked up at Kaoru, who still had her fist balled. She had always been intimidating, but never as much as at this singular  
moment.  
  
"Get up," she spat, looking down at him as if he were vermin. Her eyes seemed as if they were on fire, her face as hard as rock. She unfastened her cloak and let it fall to the ground, revealing a body Yahiko had not known. He had been such a thin-framed girl back then, but very strong. Now, her legs and arms were very well toned, the definition could be seen through the thin cotton shirt she wore. Her hands were bound by tape, those hands surrounding her holster. Yahiko had never intended on fighting his former sensei. Hell, he wasn't sure if he would ever see her again. This is not how he planned things to turn out.

  


"What, did the truth offend you, Kaoru no Hitokiri," Saitou finally interjected. He walked over to Yahiko and placed a hand on his shoulder. He pushed him out the way and smiled."You take care of Kenshin like we originally planned. I'll deal with her."  
  
Kaoru chuckled a bit at his comment, making Saitou cock his brow. Then, she disappeared before Saitou's eyes, her movements like the wind. Even he was surprised by her speed. He stepped to his left and withdrew is sword just in time to block a blow meant to make his upper and lower body distant friends. He smirked and pushed Kaoru off. She was no pushover, that's for sure.  
  
"Hmm, I expected a bit more from you. If I moved as fast as I could you would have been dead," she said, placing her sword back in her hilt slowly.  
  
Saitou did not respond to her taunt. As a top-notch swordsman, he knew not to show his emotions during battle. To show his anger would mean his death. Instead, he took her words and examined them. Yes, he had underestimated her. He had only taken into account the speed she had shown when fighting Misao. He figured her to be able to move only a bit faster. Another mistake like that would plot his grave just as quickly, too.  
  
As the crickets chirped in the background, Saitou moved his left foot forward into a stance unlike any she had seen with her own eyes. She had heard of the left-handed lunge before, but to see it for herself was a treat. The destructive power has been fabled since the Revolution and she would be pleased to defeated it, as she knew she could. Kaoru smiled and put her right foot forward and right hand over her hilt. This would be an excellent test of speed and power. Everyone else around them was silent. Kenshin knew that Kaoru was as skilled as he, but if Saitou was as strong as he remembered, she damn near had to be stronger than him. It wasn't that it was impossible, but her cockiness may get in the way. She needs to take her own words to heart, he thought to himself.  
  
The pair stood perfectly still for one moment before the grass around them shot up and both charged at each other with a roar. Saitou was nearly laughing, for Kaoru hadn't even drawn her sword as his was about to pierce her chest. He lunged his arm forward, preparing to make contact when he saw his sword move up and Kaoru lean back to miss being impaled. She had withdrawn her sword to parry his blade and her flexibility allowed her to dodge any counterstrike. Moving all the way back, Kaoru lifted her legs off the ground and kicked Saitou in the chin, sending him flying in the air.  
She flipped down, sheathing her sword as Saitou landed on the ground. Kenshin's eyes were wide as saucers. She dodged the Gatoutsu in the first try. She did not show this skill when she fought him. She did not show this power. How much was she holding back?  
  
There wasn't much time for questions, for it did not take long for Saitou to regain his footing and get back into stance. This time, the blade was raised slightly above his shoulder, his lips curling into a little smirk. Kaoru shrugged her shoulders and moved into a different stance as well. It was a basic defensive stance.

"So, you are going to use your full power finally," Kaoru said running towards Saitou.

This time, she wasn't moving as fast, which had Saitou wondering what she was going 

to do next. She was running straight at him, her katana leaning towards her right side. She 

was going to strike the blade from the left. Saitou sped up leapt in the air over Kaoru's head.

She stopped, and brought her sword to the left where Saitou had slashed in an attempt to take her 

arm off. 

The battle was on now. The pair clashed swords at a speed that a normal person could not see. Yahiko was in awe of his former master. A murderer she may be, but she is most of all skilled beyond measure. She deserved her title.

While she did not land a hit, neither did Saitou, which was curiously odd for him. One could say the difference was Kaoru's inborn flexibility, which allowed her to block most of his attacks by simply dodging them in a way nearly impossible for a male. Not to mention her speed was impossible to predict. He could tell she was still holding back. He could not show his full strength himself until she did. 

"Enough with the games," he said, stepping back. Kaoru stood down and wiped some sweat from her brow.

"Yeah, yeah...you are right. It's too hot to be out here toying with each other,"she said while rolling up her sleeve. Misao twitched in anger and disbelief. This whole time they were only sparring and not using their full potential!

Kaoru moved into a stance that was meant for a machete. She held her sword high over her head in her right hand, guiding it with the left, showing great strength. Saitou, his smirk gone, got into another Gatoutsu stance. In the blink of an eye the two superpowers darted after each other. Saitou knew he would have to dodge a downward slash aimed for his heart. In the split second he dodges blow, he will use his Zero Stance. For a moment, it seemed he had predicted correctly. The slash came as expected and he hopped back just half a step, but Kaoru continued to drive the blade into the ground and used it as a brace. Her feet came of the ground and connected with Saitou's chest. Jaws dropped as he flew through the air and Kaoru snatched her katana and slashed Saitou across the chest. Blood gushed from his wound as he hit the ground hard. Kaoru stood over his frame, wiping his blood off her blade.

"You and I both know the Katana is too heavy and is not properly shaped to be used as a machete. But I knew in the heat of the battle, that knowledge would flee you. Your brain betrayed you, leaving you with your chest wide open. It is not fatal, though," Kaoru said as she finished cleaning the sword, leaving Saitou time to rise to his feet. She was right, he was able to move, but it would be his death if he continued to fight. He would bleed to death from exertion. But, he could never run away from a fight. 

Never.

Saitou got into stance again, blood pouring from his chest. Kaoru smiled, seeing that he took the bait. She had heard about the Wolves of Mibu. They would never run away from their opponent, even if it seemed impossible for victory to be obtained. She knew even injured, he would not back down, even if the injury would only get worse if he continued to fight. That meant, he would put everything he had into this final bout. She was only trying to see the true measure of his strength. 

She would finally see it.

_And now it's time for the 100 Review Review, where I interview the main characters and get their feedback on their project up to this point. Opinions expressed may not be necessarily those of the writer._

Interviewer: So, Sosoru Kenshin, Kaoru and Sanosuke, thank's for being here.

Kenshin: I'm not worthy to be here, that I am not.

Sosoru: Oh, don't say that, Kenshin! You are the star!

Kenshin: *blushes* Oh no, Sosoru-sama, that I am not.

Kaoru: *turns red and grows fangs* What did you call her?!

Kenshin: Kaoru-dono, calm down!

Sosoru: Yes, calm down, woman. Geez, I know aikido, yanno.

Kaoru: *turns to Sosoru* Is that a challenge, missy?!

Sosoru: *gets out of chair* Do you want it to be?

Interviewer: Umm, ladies, let's not fight in front of the readers...

Sosoru: *looks about and sits back down* I suppose you are right. 

Interviewer: Ok...good, let's continue, eh. So, Kenshin, how do you feel about your part.

Kenshin: Well, I am lucky to have any part, that I am. 

Interviwer: Ok, but, how do you LIKE it?

Kenshin: Oro?

Sosoru: Com'on, this isn't the fic, you don't have to act dense.

Kaoru: Are you getting smart with him? Because if you are I'm gonna rip all that pretty auburn hair of yours out, Sosoru!

Sosoru: Oh hell naw! It's on!

Kenshin: Kaoru-dono, let's not fight with the woman that produces the story.

Sanosuke: *holding Sosoru back* Man, hurry up and calm her down. She's strong.

Sosoru: *yelling over Sano's shoulder* I'm gonna turn that ponytail into a pigtail, heifer!

Interviewer: Well, this is all the time we have for today. *rumbling and screaming is in the background* As you can see, our folks have a very interesting relationship. See you in the next 100 reviews!

  



	15. Misery

Chapter 14:

_Misery_

  


Beads of sweat rolled down from Yahiko's forehead. Whether they were from the heat, the anticipation or just plain fear was unknown. Time seemed to slow to a halt. Even the crickets had fallen silent. The mood was a thick and inhospitable as the humidity. The smell of rain was in the air and the sky was covered in a milky haze. It would storm again. It would be fierce. 

  


Kenshin's breathing had become labored. His chest felt as if it were about to cave in, but he couldn't let it show. Yahiko could decide at anytime to stop watching Kaoru and Saitou and attack him. If he spots weakness, he will surely pounce. Perhaps it was fear...fear that Kaoru would kill. Yes, he was prepared to do so, but he did not want to see her kill again. The bandits were almost too much to bear. Then again, so was picking up the body of that small child who did not deserve to meet death just yet. Kenshin balled his fists and closed his eyes. It was as if he were fighting a battle with himself, he were battling to control himself.

  


Battling to control the Battousai.

  


Kenshin shook his head and kept his eyes on Kaoru. Neither she nor Saitou had made another move since he rose. Kaoru's expression had melted into a serious stone face, her eyes concentrating, trying to pick up the slightest movement from her injured opponent while he contemplated his strike. Surely, he could not die right here in front of his pupil, but he was unsure if he could uphold his beliefs and not die at the same time. But, it was really no argument. His honor was most important. The principles he lived by were paramount. He would strike and in that one strike, kill the female hitokiri, even if that meant him dying.

  


Saitou moved into stance and Kaoru returned in like. Gatoutsu against battoujustu one final time. A raindrop fell to the ground as both fighters charged for each other. Though injured, Saitou pushed himself to his outer limits. The blood gushed from his wound as he made his body move faster, holding his blade high. Kaoru showed no emotion, her face blank. She knew this would be his strongest attack as well as his craftiest. Saitou darted from side to side, making it hard to predict where he would strike, forcing Kaoru to go on the defense. Her eyes followed his movement, her body remaining still. If she chased him around, she would leave herself open. She waited patiently for the strike that was sure to come and it did. Saitou appeared in front of her and in the blink of an eye, she withdrew her katana and a splatter of blood fell onto the ground.

  


Saitou stumbled back, blood trickling down the side of his mouth. He smirked, then fell to his knees. Misao rushed to catch him before his whole body reached the ground. Kaoru breathed heavily, grasping her right arm, dropping her sword. Somehow, Saitou managed to cut her, diminishing the power of her strike, disallowing her katana to impale him completely. He was able to injure her, attack and safe face all at the same time. Kaoru "hmphed" and turned her back to Misao and Saitou. The only one left was Yahiko. He had a decision to make.

  


"Your sensei will die if he does not seek a doctor right now. No one in this town will see you and the next is a few hours away on foot. You can either fight me and die now, or tend to your master and die later. It makes no difference to me," Kaoro said, walking back inside the inn. 

  


Yahiko's body shook from anger, disgust and heartbreak. All he had done...all he had done to protect her honor. It has been in vain. It has all been for nothing. She had thrown her life away to become a murder and share a bed with the man that left her to fend for herself. Yahiko could not understand it. And what happened to the child? Did she just leave it somewhere so she could live a life of murderer? 

  


"Yahiko, Sensei needs help," Misao yelled, tearing him away from his thoughts. He turned around to see her cradling Saitou's head. His chest was barely moving and he had fallen unconscious. They could stabilize him here, but he would have to see a doctor right away. He tried to think of what his sensei would do, but he could not find a definite answer. He turned back to Kenshin, but he had already exited as well. 

  


"Run like the dog you are," he said through his teeth, his eyes full of hatred and spite. He then walked over to Saitou and began to examine him. He ripped off his cut shirt and inspected the two wounds, one across the chest, the other right below his rib cage. He was bleeding badly. Yahiko would first have to stop it before they continued out.

  


"Misao, give me your shirt," he ordered, putting his hand out. Misao quickly complied and disrobed, taking off her woolen shirt. Yahiko tore it into a long strip and bound Saitou's chest. He then picked the man up and tossed him over his shoulder and pointed to the woods.

  


"Do you think we should steal a horse," Misao asked, peering into the growth of trees. Yahiko shook his head and walked on.

  


"If we stop to do that, we will loose precious time. We will do better on foot," he said, leading the way.

  


They walked for what seemed like an eternity. Their pace was not as quick as they were used to, for Saitou was not a light man. The oppressive conditions did not help matters to much, along with the disturbed heart Yahiko was left with. 

  


What had he been living his life for? Perhaps it was some sort of weird irony. Kenshin was a murderer turned wanderer, vowing never to kill again. Then, the woman he loves goes from a person who believes a sword is used only to protect to an assassin. Then, the student of her style, turns into a murderer in her honor. 

  


In her honor?

  


Would have really done her any honor to kill for her? She did not believe in killing. She believed in helping. Exacting Kenshin's death, at the time, would not have soothed her soul. For the first time, Yahiko thought of these things. He had only been full of hate, hate for Kenshin. He began to wonder was he even doing it for Kaoru. Perhaps he was doing it for himself and used Kaoru as some sort of honorable excuse. His own reasons were petty, but to uphold a woman's honor was important. A person deserved to die for that.

  


He wanted Kenshin to die for leaving him.

  


Yahiko paused in the middle of the path and looked out into the forest ahead of him. He didn't know which way to go, which way to turn. His mind, his heart, his emotions had betrayed him. He let his hatred be his guide, his light, his shadow, his essence. But, even in realizing this, he couldn't let it go. He wouldn't let it go. He had worked to hard to get here, too damn hard. Misao looked up at the sky and let the large raindrops fall on her face and she held her lover's hand. 

  


The rain.

  


So soothing. At times, it's cleansing. It washes away the past and leaves one refreshed, reborn. Others, it weighs one down with the past, invading their mind, flooding it with ill memories and intentions.

  


"Set me down," mutter Saitou, who had began to stir. 

  


Shocked, Yahiko put him down against a tree so he could sit up. He knelt before his master, whose eyes were still closed. Misao put her cloak over his head, protecting him from the rain. Saitou slowly pushed her away and tried to stand on his own. Misao put his hand on his arm, helping him up. 

  


"Sensei, save your strength, we are not too far from a medic," Misao said, acting as a brace for him. 

  


As soon as he was on his feet, he took a couple of baby-steps, grabbing his chest. He stumbled over to a tree, taking a breath. Misao was about to run over to him again, but Yahiko stopped her, shaking his head.

  


"Can't you see he does not want and will not accept help," he said low. Misao growled and took her arm back.

  


"He's like this because of you. You should have been killing your mark instead of watching him fight. Then you could have helped sensei," she yelled at him, the rain beginning to slick her midnight hair against her face. Yahiko almost raised his hand to strike her, but thought better of it. Why hit her when she only spoke the truth.

  


"I was caught off guard," he said, walking past her and behind Saitou as he righted himself. 

  


"Have I not told you to expect the unexpected," Saitou said in a low growl, continuing on in a slow, but steady pace. He had been out of it for some time, but it was necessary. His body needed to deal with the shock. He would be fine with a few stitches and honey* on his wounds.

  


"Yes, sensei. Forgive me," Yahiko said, bowing respectfully. Saitou shrugged his shoulder as he crept forward.

  


"It matters not if I forgive you. Now, you have two highly skilled killers that have you on the top of their hit list. My teachings can only take you so far. You two are on your own," Saitou announced. Misao and Yahiko stopped in their tracks, the rain beating down on them. Saitou continued forward and eventually, they followed.

  


"Sensei, you mean, you will not be by our side any longer," Misao cried, hanging on his arm. Saitou pushed her off and she fell to the ground. She was shaking. She was to lose another fixture in her life. Would this be all she ever knows? To be taken in only yo be abandoned?

  


"I am no help to you right now. It will take me a few days to recover. You do not have that long to deal with your self-created problems. I have taught you all that you need...but I cannot hold your hand on the battlefield. If you live, you will find me. If you die, it matters not. I have a wife that would love to see me," he said without as much as looking back. 

  


A bolt of lightning pierced the sky, illuminating the forest, making the rain drive faster and harder to the ground. It wasn't long before Saitou was out of sight. Yahiko knew better than to chase after him. He had made more than one mistake today. He had to rectify the matter. 

  
  
  


_Well, I am so glad everyone is loving the fic so much. I really appreciate it. I don't know when I will have the next chapter up, working 60 hours a week and all...but I will have it up as soon as I can. It will definitely take no longer than two weeks. Until then, take care!_

  


_Sosoru_


	16. Reflection

::coughlemoncough::

  


Chapter 15

  


Reflection

  


Kaoru growled as Kenshin wrapped the bandage around her arm. The gash Saitou left her would have been nothing more than superficial, but compounded with the injury she suffered from her fight with Kenshin, it was quite serious. Kenshin worked quietly under the flickering light of the campfire to mend his love. His face was expressionless. While it seemed he was concentrating on his task, he was really lost in his own world. Lost in his thoughts, in his memories. To his great surprise, Kaoru was more powerful than he could have ever imagined her to be. He knew she had the potential, when her swordsman's spirit broke the paralyzing spell of Jenei. But, he always thought it was her purity, her true love of the sword and the desire to protect without killing that gave her such an incredible aura. 

  


"You know we will have to kill Yahiko, right," Kaoru said, as if she we just expounding on his thoughts. Kenshin shook his head and tied the bandage.

  


"No, I do not know that to be true. He may come around. You did," he said standing up and brushing the dirt off of his body. He had dug graves for the victims of the assault and buried them not far from the inn. He did not know if family would come looking for them, but at least they would be properly buried if so.

  


"I just spanked his master like a naughty child. He has motive on top of motive. Once he discovers the totality of my situation, he will want to kill both of us. You for leaving, me for ruining his reason to seek revenge. That is how is mind will work," Kaoru said, putting her bloodstained shirt back on. She moved her arm back and forth, testing it a bit. It would be sore for a while, but it would have to do. 

  


Kenshin sighed and walked away from Kaoru. He could not deal with this right now. He couldn't deal with her coldness. He couldn't deal with the fact that all of those around him, those that he loved because of their love for peace and respect for life...turned into a mirror image of his former self. Was this part of his curse? Was this his punishment? To watch the lives of everyone he ever loved be mangled into a wreck devoid of emotion and meaning? Was this the curse he had inflicted onto Kaoru and Yahiko?

  


"Where are you going," Kaoru said, placing her sword back on her hip.

  


"Back to my inn. Still have cleaning to do," Kenshin replied without looking back. Kaoru walked briskly behind him and grabbed him by the arm. He stopped and turned to her and Kaoru was shocked. His eyes were sharp and narrow...cool and void.

  


"Kenshin..." Kaoru whispered. Kenshin slowly removed her hand and glared at her with eyes full of contempt, then turned around and walked away. Kaoru could not move. He had never looked at her like that before.

  


Never.

  


Those eyes were reserved for enemies, for his foes. That was the look that meant is tolerance was low and the Battousai was soon to follow. It was the look used when those he loved were threatened and he had to protect them. 

  


Kaoru watched his figure disappear into the trees and she started to follow him. He was moving swiftly, like a ghost or shadow. Perhaps he was trying to shake her, but she knew his destination. Why was he doing this? Why was he behaving like this? Kaoru did not know the answer, so she decided to leave him be when she reached the in. Kaoru arrived shortly after Kenshin, and he was already dressed down, scrubbing the floor. The water was already tinted red. She just got down on her knees and joined him until they were done.

  


They cleaned until the first light of dawn appeared above, reducing the brilliant twinkle of the stars above. Kaoru looked out of the second floor window and was taken back to Tokyo and her dojo. Kenshin had only been there a short while, but had not hesitated to pull his weight. She was amazed at how someone who was once a merciless killer prided himself in cleanliness. She then discovered that trait was a direct derivative from his past life, a positive after-effect. A means of making things right...and she admires him more.

  


Kaoru's face grew flush as the feeling she had felt long ago resurfaced. She put a hand on her warm cheek and smiled. Her calloused fingers glided along her chin and she inhaled deeply, pouring herself into the forgotten memory. She did not want to let it go...

  


But, she forced herself to open her eyes and peer into the dimly lit room. As much as she wanted o return to the past, she could not. As much as she wanted to forget who she had become, forget Kenshin had left, forget Megumi, Sanosuke and Kenji had died...she would never. They would always be in her memories, in her heart. They would never disappear.

  


"I cannot stay here. I'm only fooling myself," Kaoru whispered, rubbing her injured arm. She turned about and was startled by Kenshin. He was standing in the doorway, watching her.

  


"Why do you think you are fooling yourself," Kenshin asked, his eyes still as cool as earlier. Kaoru shook her head and began to walk past him, but Kenshin extended his arm in her path, blocking her way. They were cheek to cheek, but Kenshin did not turn to look at her. He only waited for her to respond. 

  


"You are fooling yourself to if you think we can be together. We are the same, yet different. I'm not longer who you feel in love with. While parts of her still exist in me, I will never be her again. To stay with me, just to be disappointed with who I am, is just asking for heartache. I've been there. You've been there. Let's not pretend, Kenshin," Kaoru said, pushing his arm down and walking past him. He stood still for a moment, taking in her words. She was correct from one standpoint. The reason he doesn't want to let her go is because he knows the old Kaoru is in there somewhere and it pains him to see her in the light of a killer.

  


It makes his fragile heart sink deeper into the abyss. He left her wishing to make things right. Just knowing the old Kaoru is just buried beneath the new was the only thing keeping him from going insane after he learned of her misfortune. 

  


"Kaoru-dono," he mouthed, lips moving, but no words coming out. He turned around, wiping a tear from his eye when he noticed Kaoru was still there, at the bottom of the steps. She couldn't go any further. Something was making her stay. She didn't know what or why, but she couldn't more, couldn't breath. She could feel eyes on her, but she couldn't respond. She felt hot lips against her neck, and her eyes closed. She felt fingers glide across her collarbone, and she moaned. She felt soft lips against hers, and she shivered. 

  


"No...Kenshin," Kaoru muttered as her lover turned her around and began to plant soft kisses on her ear. Her body melted under his touch and her pleas turned into deep, pleasure filled breaths. Her hands began to search Kenshin's lean, but strong body. She tilted her head back, allowing him to divulge even further. His fingers trailed down her spine to the small of her back. He worked his hands into her pants and slid them down her thighs. Kenshin slowly worked his way back up her body, grabbing hold of her buttocks as his lips reached her navel. He squeezed her cheeks firmly, making a little squeal exit from her lips. Kaoru puts her hands his Kenshin's hair and begins to play with the area right behind his ear. He moans and stands up, pushing Kaoru against the wall. He wedged his leg between hers, forcing her legs open. Kaoru fumbled with his pants as the kissed feverishly, trapped in the heat of the moment. Once his pants were at his ankles, Kenshin entered his love and they both gasped at the sensation. 

  


There was no feeling equal to that of their bodies joining as one. For some reason, the moment of penetration was almost as intense as the moment of climax, and both simmered in the feeling. Kaoru wrapped her leg around Kenshin's and began to roll her hips. He followed her like, filling her with himself over and over again. He pressed his hands against the wall and leaned down to give Kaoru the softest kiss she had ever felt. Softer than the night he first made love to her and the thunder was rolling in the background. A cold chill ran down her body. She knew he loved her. She knew she loved him. There was no escaping their fate, she thought as Kenshin picked her up and laid her down on the floor and entwined his fingers with hers. Kaoru arched her back and wrapped her legs around his waist. Tears rolled down her check as she felt the pressure build within her. With a bit of force, Kaoru rolled Kenshin onto his back and straddled his body. She leaned over him and nuzzled her cheek against his as they continued to move in unison.

  


"Promise me, Rurouni... that you will always stay," she whispered through her tears, as if reliving the past. Kenshin held her tight and kissed her all over her face as if he would never do so again. Tears also ran down his face as his heart sunk lower into his chest. He would not let her go. Never again. His heart beats for her. His lungs breath for her. His soul exists for her. No more broken promises. No more broken hearts. 

  


"I will," he groan as he felt his climax being reach. He took her lips with his own and kissed her as he planted his seed within her. Kaoru threw her head back in all of the emotion, which made her own zenith all the more powerful. Her body shook of a few moments as Kenshin grazed his hand up and down her naked back. She slowly began to relax and rested her head against his chest. Her lids grew heavy as Kenshin looked up at the ceiling. His words were six years too late. He should have said them the night he left...and stayed with Kaoru. But, that was the past. He was here now. He would protect her, even if it seemed she didn't need anyone to protect her. 

  


"Kaoru," he whispered as he kissed her forehead softly and fell asleep. 

  
  
  



	17. Fate

_This chapter is any more disturbing than the others in this story, but it is very dark._

  


Chapter 16:

  


Fate

  


_Two Years Later_

  


The autumn sun beamed its weakened rays down to the earth as a cool wind stirred the dying leaves on the trees. Some lost their grip on their branches and began to dance in the air, high and low until ultimately reaching the ground where they then skirted through the grass and gathered into piles which children eagerly played in. Their smiles and laugher echoed through the air like sweet music akin to birds singing in the morning.

  


"Kenshin, will you please get Kiri out of those damn leaves before she gets ill," Kaoru boomed from the kitchen window, watching her child play with the other children in the village. Kenshin shrugged and rose from the steps of his inn and picked up the tiny girl with dark red hair and huge, violet eyes. The child squealed in protest, extending her little arms back to the pile of leaves.

  


"No, honey. You're mother will kill me if I let you play in that...literally," Kenshin said, bringing her inside and sitting her at the table. Her attention was quickly caught by the big bowl full of greens sitting right next to her. 

  


"Kenshin, how are the melons looking? Do you think they will be ripe before the first frost," she questioned, cooking two fish over an open hearth in the middle of the kitchen. They were almost done and smelled incredibly good. Kenshin walked over to his wife and placed a kiss on her cheek. She smiled and pushed him away jokingly.

  


"We should be able to harvest them before then. They are very hard to grow, that they are. I'm surprised they took...those foreign things," he said, shaking his head. Kaoru had insisted on growing those things ever since she tasted them at in market in China on their travels after their wedding. Of course, all she wanted to do was eat since she was pregnant the whole time. Kenshin cherished every moment he spent with her while she was expecting. He knew for the first time what he had missed six years ago. He would never miss it again. He kissed her belly often and talked to their child, which made Kaoru smiled. She never smiled as the Hitokiri, but as a pregnant wife...she was never seen without one. Unless she was chewing him out, of course. 

  


"Well, those foreign things will bring a lot of money at the market. Now, just watch this fish while I practice my form," she said, walking into the other room, grabbing her katana. Kenshin sighed deeply and walked after her. 

  


That damn sword. She couldn't put down that damn sword. She had stopping killing for him, that was Kaoru's wedding gift to her new husband. She made the vow to change herself for him. But if her family was ever threatened, she would use her sword and kill again. It was an agreement that made him uneasy, but he accepted it just the same. Perhaps it was his own fault he assumed Kaoru would never actually pick up a katana again, but when she started training right after their daughter's birth, he became wary. All in all, she was no different from him. Though she had made the vow not to kill, she couldn't bring herself to be without a sword. It was so much a part of who she was, she couldn't let go of it.. 

  


"Kaoru, must you still mess with the sword? It has been two years and not a word or sign of Yahiko, Saitou or that girl. You are no longer a hitokiri. You don't need a sword," he pleaded with her, trying to get her to change her mind. Kaoru screwed her face and pointed to another katana lying on a rack.

  


"Well then, get rid of yours, too. You want to be a farmer. You don't want to be a swordsman, but you keep yours in arms' reach for the same reason I do, Kenshin. Let's not play dumb," she said, fastening a holster around her waist, making it looser than normal. Her waist was not as slim as usual and she needed to give a little more room.

  


"But, Kaoru, you are five months pregnant. You have to stop sometime. We have an inn and a small farm. We are making a good living. I still have my sword, yes, but I have not touched it since Kiri was born. If it will make a difference, I will get rid of mine if you get rid of yours," he said. Kaoru finished fixing herself and walked pasted her husband in a huff.

  


"The day I die is the day your can pry this katana from my hand," she replied in an unusually cold tone. It was a tone he had not heard since the first days they reunited. He could imaging her eyes, as sharp as tiger's claws. It sent a chill down his spine as if it was the wind of fate. Kenshin moved his lips to protest further when a large crash was heard coming from the kitchen. Kaoru spun around and looked at Kenshin.

  


"Kiri," Kaoru screamed as she ran to her child, her husband right behind her. It was is if they were moving in slow motion. Kenshin's instincts were telling him something was wrong. His child was in danger. He had to save his baby.

  


He was right.

  


Kiri jumped up and down in the arms of a thin, tall man. She smiled and clapped, amused to no end. Kenshin and Kaoru froze, trying to anticipate what he would do. He was armed and would probably kill Kiri if provoked. The man's dark hair covered his eyes, all that could be seen was his smile as he tickled the little girl making her smile even wider. 

  


"You should never leave you child unattended. I would figure a good mother know that, but you aren't a good mother, eh, Kaoru," the voice of Yahiko proclaimed. 

  


For the first time, Kaoru couldn't move. She couldn't breath. She couldn't think clearly. The more she tried, the more her thoughts were jumbled. Her child. She was about to lose her child again. Her hands shook violently, her sword scratching against the wooden floor. 

  


"Oh, shaken, I see," Yahiko taunted, Kaoru's child still under his arm. Kiri finally realized something wasn't right when she looked at her parents. Her smile faded away as she reached out her arms to them. 

  


"Kaa-san," little Kiri said, her eyes welling with innocent tears. Yahiko looked down and patted the child's head.

  


"Oh, you want your Kaa-san? Well, she is scared for you, because she knows I will kill you. She just doesn't know when," he whispered in the child's ear, looking dead at Kaoru and Kenshin. 

  


"Why after all this time? Why come after us? Why bring my child into this," Kaoru yelled, tears pouring from her eyes. Her face red and wrinkled, her veins erect. 

  


"It took a lot of digging to find out what happened to your first child. Died as a baby. Megumi. Sanosuke. Their deaths are on your hands, as well as his," Yahiko boomed, his tone loud and frightening, causing Kiri to wail. 

  


"And then, you choose to marry him. Marry him? The cause of your pain, your tomrent. You do not deserve to know the joys of motherhood. Your instincts leave much to be desired."

  


"KAA-SAN," Kiri screamed at the top of her lungs, beating her small fists against Yahiko, who tightened his grip on the toddler. A wry smile crossed his face as he began to walk out the door of the inn. 

  


"KIRI," Kaoru yelled as she ran after her child, her maternal instincts taking over her better judgement. Just as she reached Yahiko, he spun around to reveal a small dagger pressed against the neck of the small child. Kiri stopped wailing, sensing the danger she was in, but the tears continued to fall down her chubby, red cheeks. 

  


Time had all but stopped for Kenshin. It was as if he were in a dream. He was there, but he wasn't, watching the events unfold. Watching his wife cry like he'd never seen. Watching his child's life being threatened right before his eyes. The laughs of Yahiko. The sound of his little daughter sobbing.

  


His innocent baby girl.

  


Her flowing burgundy hair.

  


Her vibrant blue eyes.

  


Her milky white skin.

  


Her life.

  


Her being.

  


Her very existence lay in the balance, in the hands of a mad-man. In the hands of a mad-man he helped create. His daughter may die for his sins.

  


The blood he shed.

  


The choices he made.

  


The mistakes he made. 

  


The lives he took.

  


The sins of the father bequeath onto the child. Not only this child, but his first born. A child that he was never able to see. A child that was born without knowing him and died without knowing him. A child that died before he lived. A child that he might was well damned face to face. Now this little one. Not to mention the one still in his wife's womb. Where would it end? When would it stop? How could he stop it...without releasing him? Without releasing the root of this evil? Without the...

  


"Battousai," Saitou proclaimed, standing behind Yahiko. His narrow eyes moved over to Kaoru, then down to her belly, which had only begun to round.

  


"Hitokiri, it seems you are in no condition to fight, unless you risk the life inside of you," he said matter-of-factly. Kaoru tightened her grip around the hilt of her sward as she took his words, her baby still with a dagger to her throat. No matter how cold, Saitou was correct. If she fought at her full potential, she could have the baby too soon and it would die. And there would be no guarantee she would save Kiri, either. 

  


"Since when did you become the murderer of children, Saitou," the Battousai said, his golden eyes narrowed, his ruby hair flowing down his back. Saitou smirked and brought his cigarette to his lips.

  


"When the child became a weakness. How careless of the both of you! Surely you knew we would return for your heads. Instead, we find you two have married with a beautiful daughter. What torture it would be if something happened to this little one," he replied, dropping the burning stick and stomping it out as it reached the ground. He placed his hand on Yahiko's shoulder and walked out of the kitchen. His apprentice followed, Kiri still in his arms, screaming. 

  


"Hajime Saitou, I will have you head on a platter if any harm comes to my child," Kaoru promised as the two men were exiting. 

  


"Follow me out this house and I'll slit her throat and leave her on your steps," was his response. Kaoru could do nothing but collapse as the men left with her child. Kenshin ran to her and held her in her arms. She was pale, all color gone from her tone. Her eyes were glossed over, as if she had already died, her breathing slow, but her heart beating extremely fast.

  


The past was occurring again. History was repeating itself. She was losing her child again. She lost her baby. She would never see her again. She couldn't go after her. But, she had to. She had to try. She had to take the chance. She had to save her baby.

  


Their baby.

  


Kaoru snapped out of her trance and sat straight up, startling the Battousai next to her. She scanned him from head to toe. So, after all this time, he was finally released. There was no fighting it now. There was no turning back. All bets were off. All promises forgotten. All that mattered was bringing Kiri back and killing the sons of bitches that took her. 

  


No more pity.

  


No more feeling sorry.

  


No more dwelling on the past.

  


Their fates were sealed. 

  
  
  
  
  



	18. And So, It Begins

OK, I know it's been a while, but I have been SUPER busy. Well, here is another chapter. Read, review, tell me what you think. Oh, and thanks for the grammar pointer. I didn't even notice I was making that error. Too much time away from English class, I suppose.

  


_Chapter 17:_

  


_And So, It Begins_

  


The crickets chirped in the cool, damp air of the early morning. The sky was still a dark, rich shade of blue with a hint of pink peering over the eastern horizon. The air was calm and not a sound could be heard aside from fast moving feet barely touching the ground. Sandals bound with leather on the soles aided in the silent ascent. The fabric of traditional garb rustled softly and two pairs of narrow, determined eyes led the way. Kenshin could smell how close he was. They had begun to travel in the mid of the night, when his skills of stealth would be at its best. Kaoru also favored the night. It had been a long time since she had to stalk her prey. This event was like a sick, sadistic dream coming into reality.

  


She would kill again.

  


She would smell blood again.

  


Her sword would pierce flesh again.

  


The blood would rain again.

  


Those promises, those lusty desires, kept her moving forward at a pace equal to her husband, the Battousai.

  


Odd, there was a time she never wanted to see the golden eyes of the Hitokiri Battousai from the Revolution. The cold, calculating, killing machine that he was, that he never wanted truly to be. She assumed that was the difference between the two of them now. She lives for the kill. Kenshin will only kill to live. 

  


But, now that he has arisen, his presence stirred something in her soul, something she didn't quite understand. 

  


It excited her.

  


It made the hitokiri in her turn up a wry smile.

  


No, she was a hitokiri.

  


She was a murderer.

  


She wanted to be a murderer.

  


Her hands itched to kill again. 

  


After this night, she would not return to the peaceful life of being an innkeeper's wife, she thought. She would not plot her hands in the earth to grow food for others. She would not resist her urge to return to her past life. The desire had begun to consume her, but she controlled it out of her love for her husband. 

  


And her child…

  


"Kiri," Kaoru whispered to herself softly. Slowly, her mind came back to its senses, and she felt ashamed. She was only killing again to have her daughter back…to have her heart back. She could not be an assassin and care for her children at the same time. They would just become targets again, just as they are now. It's a sacrifice she not only made for Kenshin, but for her baby girl. 

  


Kenshin looked back when he felt his partner lagging behind. She was looking down, tears rolling down her cheek to the dry soil at her feet. How could she let such feelings consume her at a time like this. She was torn. She was two different people. She had become what Kenshin was. A killer and a lover of peace rolled into one. She had to fight her former self to let her real self prosper. But, again the irony…death begets life. Life begets death. This is the path she has to travel. This was her destiny, her fate. All of her years have led her to this one, defining moment in her personal evolution. 

  


"We must keep moving," Kenshin whispered to his wife, holding out his hand to her. Kaoru looked up, wiping the dampness from her face. His eyes, his eyes were fierce, but soft. The Battousai was not void of emotion. He knew what he had to do. The determination took over. His soul burned as brilliantly has his golden eyes. 

  


Kaoru nodded and took off ahead of him. She too could feel her child near. Call it maternal instincts. Call it her superior tracking skills. Whatever you want to label it as, she knew she was near. She knew she had to retrieve her child and kill the bastards who took her. Kill the bastards who tried to kill her. 

  


She will kill them all.

  


And the rising sun led her onward. The pair moved swiftly as the dense forest began to thin as they approached a large settlement. The daylight would blow their cover, so they paused just shy of the town to shroud themselves and then walked casually through the streets. 

  


"We are about a three hour walk from Kyoto," Kaoru said, looking around the main street of the town. Looking at all the buildings, there had to be a population in the thousands. Kaoru did not recall this settlement being so large the last time he traveled to this area. It seemed to be a commercial area, so perhaps a natural treasure had been found here. 

  


"It is very quiet, even for this time of morning," Kenshin commented, his senses on full alert. They were painfully close, he could feel it down to his spine. He could also feel eyes on him. Familiar eyes. He turned his head to see two adolescent girls peering curiously at him. They looked so familiar, but he had not been to this town in years and when he was, he did not get acquainted with anyone.

  


But they were still so familiar

  


The girls were beautiful and obvisouly kin. They favored each other so much. One was a bit taller, maybe a year or two older. Her brown eyes seemed to light up, though her lips were still turned to a frown. Who could they be? 

  


"It's is Ayame and Suzume. Do not speak to them. Perhaps Yahiko and Saitou do not know it is them either, just as you barely recognized them. They may just find you familiar, but don't know exactly who you are. Jogging their memory will only add to the bloodshed, Battousai," Kaoru informed her husband without looking at the girls. Kenshin continued forward into the town's square. There was a fountain with a beautiful Buddha pouring water into a pond below. Yahiko's tall, dark figure loomed from behind the statue, Kiri still in his arms. She looked unharmed, but tired. Her little eyes were barely open, but when she saw her mother, she brightened up instantly.

  


"Kaa-san," she screamed with delight. Kaoru could not smile, could not cry. She could not run and fetch her daughter. She could not show any emotion. Showing emotion would mean death. She was back in hitokiri mode. Hopefully, her maternal instinct was not stronger than her swordsman spirit in this case. 

  


This was it.

  


"Surrender or die," was Kaoru's only words. Very simple. Very cold. Very determined. 

  


Yahiko laughed and withdrew his sword, bringing it up to Kiri's neck. Kaoru nor Kenshin flinched. 

  


"I see you both are back to peak. I wonder if you can truly handle all three of us this time," he said, walking over to Kaoru. She moved into stance, scanning for her best opportunity to kill. Every strike she saw would come too close to her child. She couldn't take the risk. Yahiko had planned this out very well.

  


"The mother bird as come for her chick," Saitou proclaimed, his hands in his pockets, a cigarette on his lip. Misao was not far behind him. She looked different. Her hair was shoulder length and her face has gained a bit of maturity. It seems Saitou had finally tamed her. She might actually be a threat this time. 

  


"Do you really want me to beat your ass again, Saitou? Or are you just looking to die this time," Kaoru said, her arrogance showing on her sleeve. Her opponent smirked and brought his fingers to his lips. He motioned for Misao to move forward and she did. Kaoru took notice that Saitou appeared unarmed, while the woman was.

  


She was most definitely a threat. 

  


"Have you forgotten about me? I have not forgotten about you," she smaller woman said, placing her kunais between her fingers. In a flash, the little darts came towards Kaoru and Kenshin. Both were able to dodge the assault...but just barely. Her skill level had improved tremendously, no doubt under the careful eye of Saitou.

  


Not too far away, Ayame and Suzume move closer to the battle. All of the other townspeople were tucked safely inside their homes, but they were drawn to the fight. It had been so long since they had seen him. 

  


"Grandpa was right! Brother Ken was coming back. I wish he was here to see," the young Suzume said in a hushed, but excited tone.

  


"And Miss Kaoru! She looks so different. I wonder why they are fighting those people," Ayame added. The pair were excited to see the people they considered family, even after so long. They always reveled in the fact that both Kaoru and Kenshin were so strong. There was never an enemy they couldn't defeat together. While they were sad when Kenshin left, their Grandpa told them that he was a wander and wanderers wander. But, he also said that Kenshin would return, because he would never forget their faces. 

  


"Let's get closer. I think that's Yahiko over there holding the baby. Why would he be holding a baby like that?" Ayame whispered to her sister, moving in closer, but Suzume held her back.

  


"No, we stay here until we figure out what's going on," she said low, tucking back into their hiding spot. This was dangerous, she knew. They all have the look of death in their eyes, as if their tongues water for the taste of blood. This was a volitile situation. Then, she saw the tall man with the cigarette look over in their direction, and a smile ran across his face. Fear struck Suzume, but she knew it was better she stay put or risk alarming her younger sister.

  


"We have an audience, hitokiris. It would be a pity if something happened to them," Saitou said, humor in his voice. The husband and wife pair did not look behind them, for they both knew who they were referring to. Still, they did not know who they were, so to go after them would be pointless, because as far as Saitou knew, the killers had no ties to the girls.

  


"Keep your eyes on your mark. I care only about my child," Kaoru said, her eyes low.

  


"I...will...kill you."

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	19. And so, It Ends

Chapter 18

  


The sky began to fill with dark clouds and the wind started to pick up speed. The air itself was quiet, the entire town silently tucked away in their homes waiting for the pending bloodbath to be over. All of the town except for the old doctor's two young granddaughters, of course. The mischievous girls had found a hiding spot only a few yards away from the ominous group in the town square. An older lady and her daughter peered through a window on the upper level of their house, watching the events unfold.

  


"Ever since that man died, those girls have been roaming free like little ants. Today they will get squished," the woman said, her tone full of disgust. The little girl shook her head, wiping tears from her eyes.

  


"No, Kaa-san, nothing can happen to Suzume and her sister. I love them! Who will I play with? Why won't daddy shoot that bad man holding the baby with his American gun and end this?,"the girl asked, looking back to her father, who was reading a book in a corner, not paying any mind to the events unfolding outside.

  


"Child, it is not my place to intervene. This sort of thing happens everyday. People die everyday. I won't put my neck or family on the line for some strangers," he said without looking up at his daughter. 

  


"But what about my friends!" she exclaimed, tears rolling down her face. 

  


"May their god save them."

  


Ayame tried to listen attentively to what Kaoru had said to the tall man. She said she would kill him. Kaoru? Kill? There had to be some sort of mistake. Kaoru would never kill anyone. And her child? That girl the taller man was holding was her child? What had happened in the past few years to make these events occur? Ayame tried to move in a little closer, her curiosity getting the best of her. Suzume just stayed still and silent, now scared of the situation they had found themselves in. She felt her face getting hot as she slumped down and began to rock herself, trying to calm down. She couldn't understand how thing could have turned out so badly, so quickly. She was just celebrating finding her lost family, now they were about to witness a dangerous fight. 

  


"Ayame, let's go home. I'm scared," Suzume whimpered. Ayame put her fingers to her lips, a motion meaning for her to stay quiet. The younger sister bit her lip and continued to try to calm herself.

  


The mood was becoming more and more tense by the second. The two groups were at a standoff, neither backing down. Kaoru could see that the first move would have to be either her's or Kenshin's. She was certain Saitou was indeed armed, though she could not spot his weapon. The skill of the weasel-girl was vastly improved and Yahiko was probably the same. It was three against two, nothing either side was not used to.

  


But, neither was akin to losing. 

  


The second clash of titans was to begin.

  


Kaoru eyed her prey carefully and skillfully. It had been a long while since she had done this, but her skills were at peak. It seemed her motherly instincts had only heightened her sensory skills. Though she carried extra weight, she felt stronger and faster. She did question how long she would be able to keep this pace up in her condition. She also knew she abdomen would be another target, so she had to tread carefully. She gazed at the trio, then at Yahiko once more. She noticed how Kiri was being held...and it finally came all in perspective. Kenshin grunted, as he noticed the same thing. His lip upturned a bit as his wife moved forward.

  


"You will put my child down and fight me like a man, Yahiko," Kaoru said as she became a blur. Her movements were almost too fast to be seem by the normal, untrained eye. Yahiko tossed Kiri to Misao and drew his sword, crossing Kaoru's. She had found his weak spot. He left his groin wide open and he strained to keep control of his weapon. Kaoru smirked and she released some of the pressure and kicked him in the shin, making him yell out in pain. Without hesitation or question, she drove her katana into his chest. Blood splattered onto the ground as he slumped over. 

  


"Yahiko!" Misao screamed, watching her lover fall to the ground, defeated and dying. She dropped Kiri, who was too frightened to cry anymore. She sat on the ground, not too far from all the bloodshed, tears falling down her plump, rosey cheeks. She watch as Yahiko rolled over to his back, pushing the sobbing Misao away. He rose up slowly, grasping his chest wound. Kaoru was not at all surprised. Adrenaline often makes you push your body further than it can go normally. Plus, his skill was tremendous, though it obviously still was no match for hers.

  


"Is this all you could do for him, Saitou? You take my student, turn him evil and he still can't defeat me. I will kill you for producing such a poor pupil," Kaoru taunted. Yahiko growled as he grabbed his sword and closed in on Karou, but a firm hand stopped him and pushed him down.

  


"Tend to his wounds, Misao," Saitou grumbled. He had never had a woman get on his nerves so much before, aside from Misao. This woman's arrogance was immeasurable. She would have to be put in her place. Saitou calmly walked over to the statue behind him and grabbed a sword. She knew he would not come unarmed. 

  


"Oh, are you angry?" she taunted further. She laughed until Kenshin stepped forward and in front of her. 

  


"This fight is mine. We have a score to settle," the Battousai said, his hand hoovering over his hilt. Saitou smiled and threw in cigarette to the ground. 

  


"Believe it or not, I believe I wish to settle the score with the Mercenary first. After all, she accomplished what you could not. She defeated me. Now, she wears it on her sleeve. No, I cannot tolerate that. This is more pressing," Saitou said as he prepared for his signature attack. 

  


The Battousai stood emotionless, his pregnant wife now taking center stage once more. He watched her movements carefully, ensuring she was not risking her health or her child's health. If anything were to happen to his unborn child, hell hath no fury that would contain his wrath. Kaoru did not wait for Kenshin to move before exacting her first attack, a slash to Saitou's mid-section. After he blocked, she kept coming after him with attack of attack, not landed, but all kept him out of stance and on the defensive. Yahiko sat up of his own power and watched his former sensei and his current sensei battle once again. It was as if history was repeating itself.

  


It was as if history was repeating itself.

  


History does repeat itself.

  


Slash. Counter. Parry. Strike. 

  


Kaoru pushed her body, forced to body to keep up with her skilled prey. Likewise, Saitou pushed his old legs to move as the did during the Revolution. Only she and her husband forced him to use so much skill, so much power. He loved the feeling, though he knew it was dance with the devil...a kiss of death. But he continued with the steps and their swords clashed with such force, it pushed both of them back, leaving them gasping for air. 

  


The Battousai saw his wife, her knee down, body leaning forward, free hand slightly over her stomach. Her eyes never left Saitou, whose eyes never left hers. The air was sticky, but even the insects not dare make a sound, the crickets silent. Everything silent. 

  


Everything silent.

  


Everything fading slowly.

  


Everything a blur.

  


Kenshin brought his hands to his eyes, trying to refocus. He could not see anything. He could not hear anything. But he could smell...

  


Plum blossoms.

  


His eyes shot open, but all he could see was black. Darkness...an abyss. The smell grew stronger and he followed it, his hands the only thing he could see in front of him. The gentle decent of a snow flake startled him. Then another and another, until they began to collect on the dark ground. The smell grew even stronger until he saw the face of his first love. His former wife. The woman whose blood his stained on his hands.

  


"Tomoe," he gasped, unable to believe his eyes. 

  


Her face was sad, as it always seemed to be. She blue shawl that cover that covered her shoulders fell towards the ground. She bent down to pick it up and began to speak.

  


"Have you forgotten me? The reason I lived? The reason I died?" she asked him calmly as she rose, placing the fabric back on her gentle body. Kenshin couldn't move, couldn't speak. His throat lumped up, his eyes burned.

  


Had he forgotten?

  


"I did not die for you to kill. I did not die for you to die by the sword. You began seeking atonement for your many sins and you abandoned that mission and the love that wanted to help you reach that it. Now she is more a killer then you ever were. She _enjoys_ it. And now, you are waiting your turn to defile my memory, while the supposed reason you fight is sitting on the hard ground, forgotten. Remember me. Respect my death. Remember me," she whispered as she began to disappear into the darkness, leaving Kenshin alone again. 

  


"Why won't you die!" yelled Saitou and he performed his rarely seen "Zero Stance" attack. Kaoru, who sustained a minor injury to her left arm, parried the attack and swept her leg under Saitou, laying him on his back. He quickly recovered and Kaoru charged after him, first moving to the left, faking her opponent out. She then turned about and withdrew her sword, cutting deep into Saitou's legs. He grimaced, then dropped to his knees. Yahiko and Misao gasped as Kaoru dealt the final blow to her great opponent, this time leaving no chance of a rematch. The blood rained down as Kenshin watch on. He then saw his tiny daughter, the blood splattering on her innocent face. Her eyes grew wide, for she could not understand what she was witnessing. 

  


His heart sank and before he knew it, his daughter was in his arms. He turned to tell his wife to retreat since they had what they came for, what they had become murderers for, when out the corner of his eye, he saw Misao grab her kunai and aim for Kaoru. Even worse, he saw a blur of brown hair move towards Kaoru and stand in front of her as Misao released her tiny weapons. 

  


Kaoru saw Suzame, and her face lightened her heart for a moment. Then, she saw the kunais rip into her young flesh. Kaour looked down at the young girl, whose eyes grew wide as she felt the sharp pains against her back. One did reach its intended target and struck Kaoru above her breast. The rest were riddled in the back of Suzume, who fell into Kaoru's arms. 

  


"Suzume!" Ayame screamed as she watched her sister's blood being shed. Kaoru fell to the ground as the other girl ran to her, crying.

  


"Kaoru, why didn't you stop that woman? Kaoru!," Ayame chanted as her sister slipped in and out of consciousness. 

  


Kaoru removed the weapon from her chest, then looked up at the woman who harmed the innocent child and an anger brewed within her. She had not seen or spoken to this girl in years. This girl loved her like a sister, trusted her like a mother at one point in time. What made her want to protect her, she will never know. Her short breaths became more and more labored. There was nothing that could be done for her.

  


Nothing.

  


Misao felt her knees grow weak and her chest tight. She only wanted to kill Kaoru. She did not mean to hit the little girl. She didn't even see her coming. She had never killed a child before, she never dared nor ever would. She could feel the eyes of the Hitokiri feasting on her, but she was too numbed to react. She fell to her knees next to Yahiko and began to sob.

  


"Kaoru, let us leave. I will not allow anymore blood to be shed. We have our daughter. They will not come after us again," Kenshin whispered into his wife's ear. She still held Suzume's body in her arms, silent tears rolling down her cheek. They came for their daughter, they had their daughter. That's all that was important.

  


Right?

  


Kaoru tore her gaze from Misao and cupped Ayame's cheek with her bloodstained hand. The child did not know what to do. Her heart was filling with emotions she had never felt before. She didn't know what to make of it all. She didn't understand, she couldn't understand. Why did her sister die? Why didn't Kaoru stop her? Why was she fighting these people? Why?

  


"I am sorry. We will take Suzume and give her a proper burial," Kaoru said softly to the hurting child. She could say nothing in response. They had no real money to speak of. They were taken in by the doctor now running their grandfather's clinic. He just ensured they were clothed and fed, otherwise, they fended for themselves. He probably wouldn't even have noticed Suzume was gone.

  


Yahiko could not stand the sight anymore. He picked up his fallen master and put him over his shoulder. Despite his serious injury, he carried him off. Misao stood in front on him and shook her head furiously.

  


"You can't carry him. You'll die from blood loss and exertion," she protested. Yahiko sighed and moved passed the woman.

  


"We have to take him to his wife. If I live, I will let this grudge die. If I do not, you will let it die. It is over," he said as he moved at a snail's pace towards the north, away from Kenshin and the others. Kaoru heard Yahiko's declaration and rejoiced on the inside. Indeed, this battle was over, but another scar was left.

  


"Should we take her to live with us," Kenshin questioned, referring to Ayame. Kaoru stood up and looked in the eyes of her daughter, whom they had shed blood to save. Suzume made it possible for her to look into those eyes again. She sacrificed her life. Why did she? The question would haunt her. Her blood on her hands would haunt her. The presence of her sister would haunt her. But that is the price paid, sometimes. 

  


Kaoru nodded and held out her hand to Ayame, who reluctantly took hold of it. She shook from fear and grief, she would barely hold herself up. She was struggling to understand. She had to understand, she needed to understand. She left her feet move as Kaoru led her away, away to where they came, where she was now going. She looked up at the one she used to call "Brother Ken", his eyes violet once again...but lacking the happiness they once had. They were not cold, but were heavy with grief. 

  


"I will never pick up a sword again," Kenshin declared. Kaoru paused for a moment, then continued following her husband. She fought with herself. How difficult was it really to declare she would never kill again. Was she addicted? Did she have any sort of self control? Was this her vice?

  


Then, she remembered the little body she was carrying, the little one she was leading and the precious gift that lay sleeping in Kenshin's arms...

  


"Never again," she finally said as they continued into the depth of the forest. 

  


She had forgiven herself for her past. She had forgiven her love for leaving her. She had forgiven his past sins and accepted them. She took on her own demons, raised her family and protected those most important to her. Yet, she was still incomplete. She still failed. Innocent blood shed. The past haunted her, as would the future. Her mind would never rest, for she has sinned beyond sin. She was still broken. 


	20. Epilogue

Epilogue

  


_Five Year Later_

  


Long, silken strands of raven hair danced gracefully in the wind, along with short, auburn locks. Two small hands interlock and bodies move in a circle, faster and faster. Two heads tilt back as the feel the force pull them away, and they smile. The wonderful sound of laughter fills the air as they finally release and fall to the ground in a thump. The two children giggle fiercely, then rise again to repeat their play.

  


Kenshin watches his two children, his wonderful babies, as they do what they do best. Tug at his heart-strings. Kiri looked so much like her mother, though she had inherited his flaming red hair. She had her temperament also. Rough and tumble, very much into what would traditionally thought as male-dominated activities. There was been two years of calm and order has someone found its way back to Japan, meaning more traditional roles for men and women, alike. But, his Kiri would never settle for that. Where Kaoru did at least dress traditionally and know how to behave in public, Kiri would have no part in it. To get her in a kimono was a battle, which was often lost. A dogi suited her better. She even took her mother's old sword and cut her hair short. Kaoru was upset for days, Kenshin remembered. Then, his face grew a little more serious as he looked upon his younger daughter.

  


She was the complete opposite of Kiri. From her birth, she had the solemn calmness about her. Though she was only going on five, she had a sophistication that was much beyond her years. She did not look like Kaoru, or Kenshin. In fact, she reminded him of a person he knew many years ago. She soft, yet fox-like appearance, her demeanor...it was so familiar. But it wasn't possible, he thought as he called his children in for dinner.

  


Kaoru helped Ayame fix her Kimono in the mirror as she heard her husband's soft voice belt out his dinner chime. The young girl was quickly approaching womanhood. In Kaoru's day, she would have already been married and perhaps expecting her first child, but times were quite different now. Girls were becoming less and less traditional, but that made Ayame quite the rare gem, not that she was not already precious. Kaoru did all she could to make her life as comfortable as possible and Ayame did her best to be a good adopted daughter. She almost never brought up the death of her sister. She pretends she doesn't remember, but both Kaoru and Kenshin know better. They were just thankful she did not hate them and had accepted living in their home. They visited Suzume's grave once every year, on the anniversay of her death. Kenshin planted a cherry tree in the front of there home in memory of her and her sacrifice, a way of showing she would never be forgotten.

  


"You're all set,"the older woman said, putting a finishing ribbon in Ayame's hair. She smiled as she looked at herself in the mirror, bowed to Kaoru and dismissed herself. Kaoru could not help but know the child was hiding something deep within her, just as she was.

  


Kaoru walked into the dining area and sat down to eat with her family. She smiled at her husband, her daughters and Ayame, then knelt down to bless the food. She lowered her head, closed her head and inhaled deeply, holding it in, the moment lingering in time. She was moved to a different time, a different place, five years earlier. This happened to her very often, so often she wanted to escape. But she could not. The images before her silently haunted her.

A dark haired woman with a blue sash across her shoulders seemed to put her arms around Suzume as she fell into Kaoru's arms. Her eyes grew wide as the woman seemed to fade away as the life of the child in the arms was shattered and lost. Though she had never seen the woman, she knew who it was, whose spirit it was. The last thing to materialize were her eyes. Those eyes stayed on her, stayed with her, never left her. 

  


"Mama?" questioned her youngest daughter, her blue eyes peering at her. Kaoru managed a smile and motioned towards Kenshin and he started serving the meal. Ayame rose to get the sake off the fire and serve it to her adoptive parents. As the warm, clear liquid fell into the tiny cup, she remember the time before she saw Kenshin again, when she thought her life to be simple. She was ashamed she still longed for that life again, despite how she loved her family. She was forever in emotional limbo, but she had to stay strong. Kenshin had found his answer, his way to repent, but she had not. She figured staying away from her katana was the best way to mend herself and her heart.

  


But the inward struggle never ended. Her heart never mended. Her mind always clouded with visions and thoughts. Her soul agonized by her past.

  


Broken.

  


_The End_

  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
